The Velvet Burlesque Backstage Blog ... Can you hear me at the back?!

International Women’s Day - Strength, Freedom & Sisterhood | Lara Gothique - The Velvet Burlesque

Sun, 08 Mar 2026 14:14:04 GMT

Lara Gothique reflects on freedom, sisterhood, courage, and choosing your own life path in this powerful International Women’s Day message from The Velvet Burlesque ™ .

International Women's Day - I am so lucky to have the freedom to live the life path I have chosen, doing a job that I love, and one in which I can fully and freely express myself.

I am surrounded by a far-reaching tribe of strong and emotionally generous women who make my life that much richer for knowing them.

Fill your life only with the people who value you, who love you for who you are, who believe in you, and who will support you through thick and thin.

Reciprocate that positivity fiercely.

❤️ Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” - Nora Ephron

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.” - Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

“A woman has to live her life, or live to repent not having lived it.” - D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover

“A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.” - Coco Chanel

“When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.” - Diane Von Furstenberg

“No woman can call herself free who does not control her own body.” - Margaret Sanger

“No one knows what you have been through or what your pretty little eyes have seen, but I can reassure you - whatever you have conquered, it shines through your mind.” - Nikki Rowe

“Blessed be she who is both furious and magnificent.” - Taylor Rhodes

“She will rise. With a spine of steel and a roar like thunder, she will rise.” - Nicole Lyons

“Everything is within your power, and your power is within you.” - Janice Trachtman

“She didn't struggle and so she didn't grow.” - Paulo Coelho

“Do not judge a woman on her knees: you never know how tall she is when she stands.” - Mie Hansson

“She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible.” - Ariana Dancu

“Women have got to make the world safe for men since men have made it so darned unsafe for women.” - Nancy Astor

“The woman must be restored to her rightful place, as the strong, loving maternal leader of peace and reason.” - Bryant McGill

“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” - Katharine Hepburn

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” - Anais Nin

“I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.” - Oprah Winfrey

“A strong woman understands that the gifts such as logic, decisiveness, and strength are just as feminine as intuition and emotional connection. She values and uses all of her gifts.” Nancy Rathburn

“The best protection any woman can have is courage.” - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

“The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” - Ayn Rand

“One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in and where you want to go.” - Sheila Murray Bethel

"Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it's more likely to be Female." - Desmond Morris

“I am the blood of the dragon. I must be strong. I must have fire in my eyes when I face them, not tears.” George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords

"This bitch bites if you pull her tail!" - Zodiac Mindwarp

* insert battle cry * - Lara Gothique

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

© Lara Gothique - Velvet Burlesque™
All content, text, and imagery are the original work of Lara Gothique - The Velvet Burlesque™ unless otherwise stated.
You are very welcome to share this blog post in its original form, but please do not reproduce, reuse, or quote any part of it without prior written permission.

Photo: Bill Stevenson

(featuring my old nose)

Show Performer Applications | The Velvet Burlesque

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 11:29:36 GMT

Performer applications are open with The Velvet Burlesque.

We welcome UK and international burlesque, cabaret, circus, comedy, vaudeville, and variety performers.

Think you’ve got what it takes to shine on The Velvet Burlesque stage?

Apply now to perform with our multi-award-winning company and become part of one of the UK’s most spectacular burlesque and cabaret shows!

Celebrating over 35 years of excellence, The Velvet Burlesque is one of the UK’s most established and prestigious burlesque and cabaret companies. Founded in 1991, our multi-award-winning business has built a formidable reputation for delivering world-class burlesque and cabaret shows, and dynamic, record-breaking performances.

We invite exceptional burlesque, cabaret, circus, comedy, vaudeville, and variety performers to apply to perform with us.

Whether you’re an experienced professional or an emerging artist ready to shine, we want to hear from you!

Our stages are known for bold, breathtaking, and unforgettable entertainment, and we’re always seeking talent that pushes boundaries, celebrates individuality, and brings something extraordinary to our audiences.

Submit your details via the SHOW PERFORMER APPLICATION FORM , and tell us about your act, experience, and performance style.

Step into a world of glamour, excitement, and mesmerising performance, where every moment leaves an indelible mark on the world of live entertainment.

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Why Experience & Trust Matters in Teaching Dance & Fitness - Lessons from 35+ Years of Teaching at The Velvet Burlesque

Wed, 07 Jan 2026 20:32:06 GMT

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique shares how three & a half decades of professional experience have shaped her unique, student-centred teaching style, including her famous use of words, sounds, humour, and tailored corrections to help every single person feel confident, capable, and supported in their classes and workshops.

After more than thirty-five (professional) years of teaching, choreographing, performing, coaching, and mentoring tens of thousands of people, here’s what I know for sure: everyone learns differently - and that’s a beautiful thing.

Experience isn’t just about the years - it’s how you use them to understand people, patterns, patience, and provide profound care to your clients.

WHY I TEACH THE WAY I DO:

There’s one thing I will never stop saying:

Your learning style matters.

Your body matters.
And you deserve a teacher who actually sees you.

I’ve taught tens of thousands of people over the years - different ages, different abilities, different health conditions, different levels of confidence, different backgrounds, different life stories. And with every single person who steps into my class, one truth always stands out:

No two people learn in the same way.

Some people learn by watching
Some people learn by feeling
Some people need metaphors
Some need simplicity
Some need the step broken down
Others need the why behind the movement
And some - quite literally - need me to make a strange sound effect so the rhythm lodges in the brain and refuses to leave

(I refuse to apologise for my sound effects. They are iconic.)

THE TEACHING METHOD BEHIND THE MADNESS (AND THE MAGIC):

This is why I use a teaching style that includes different words - and sometimes even different noises - to describe movements.

Everyone learns differently, so offering multiple ways to explain the same step or pattern means there’s always a version that “clicks” for each individual.

It’s funny.

It’s weird.
And it works.

Every. Single. Time.

Because a teacher’s job is not just to teach their way - it’s to teach your way.

WHY MY DECADES OF EXPERIENCE MATTER (AND WHY I CARE SO FIERCELY):

I’ve spent literal decades refining how I communicate movement:

Supporting people recovering from injuries
Teaching those with chronic health conditions
Guiding absolute beginners
Coaching and mentoring professional performers & athletes
Helping tens of thousands of people to build confidence, strength, and (better) body awareness
Creating accessible pathways into fitness, dance, and performance
Supporting people through grief, trauma, burnout, illness, and life transitions
And celebrating every win, big or small

This didn’t happen overnight.
This comes from lived experience, relentless dedication, and a genuine love for helping people rediscover what their bodies can do.

I want my clients to succeed - not because it looks good on paper, but because you deserve to thrive.

Every class I teach is built on that foundation.

WHY MY CLASSES & WORKSHOPS ARE ALWAYS ADAPTABLE, ALWAYS INCLUSIVE, ALWAYS FOR YOU:

Whether it’s Burlesque Dance, Cabaret Dance, Heels Dance, Contemporary Dance, Yoga, Pilates, Strength Training, Rehabilitation, Relaxation, or simply movement for wellbeing, my goal is always the same:

Make it achievable.
Make it safe.
Make it joyful.
Make it yours .

If something isn’t working, I will find another way.
If you’re nervous, I will guide you patiently.
If you need reassurance, you’ll get it.
If you need a challenge - I’ve got you.

My job is not just to teach you steps and movement.
My job is to help you feel capable, confident, and connected to your body - perhaps for the first time in years.

BOSS LADY WISDOM:

Your body isn’t difficult.
Your learning style isn’t a problem.
You just need the right teacher - and the right explanation - both at the right time.

And after over three and a half decades of doing this, you'll learn that I’m very, very good at finding that explanation.

TRUST THE (MY!) PROCESS!

READY TO LEARN IN A WAY THAT FINALLY MAKES SENSE?

Come join me for a class, a workshop, or a private lesson, and let’s get you feeling stronger, happier, and more confident in your own skin.

Explore all UPCOMING CLASSES HERE or CONTACT ME for a PRIVATE BOOKING

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: October

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 21:15:51 GMT

Halloween burlesque and cabaret shows mean devils, witches, voodoo chaos, gothic weirdness, fake blood disasters, and the Boss Lady hanging in there by the skin of her teeth!

October is not a gentle month.
October is a summoning.

This is the season of Halloween burlesque, macabre cabaret and spine-chilling circus, with shows so dark, filthy, and unhinged they feel less like entertainment and more like an offering to the theatre gods.

Devils slink out of the wings.
Witches crawl onto the stage.
Voodoo beats throb through the floor.
Goblins, gremlins, and deeply disturbing contortionists twist themselves into shapes that absolutely should not be anatomically possible.

And the audience?
If they come dressed up - masks, horns, corsets, latex, capes, and eyeliner sharp enough to kill, then the night immediately ascends into something deliciously feral.

Halloween audiences don’t want polite.
They want spooky.
They want weird.
They want mind-blowing, ritualistic filth, theatrical possession, and at least one moment where they whisper: “I don’t know what that was, but I loved it!”

HALLOWEEN SHOWS ARE NOT FOR THE WEAK!

For Producers, Halloween shows are not just themed shows. They are a pressure cooker of stress and chaos!

Everything is darker.
Everything is wetter.

Everything is just ... well ...!
Everything has extra props, candles, blood, feathers, smoke, bones, and at least one cursed item that no one in the legal team remembers approving.

This is the month where performers swear something will be “minimal”, “symbolic”, or “mostly contained”.

It never bloody is.

Halloween shows are where the Producer's sanity goes to die, and creativity runs riot. It’s when the entertainment scene leans further into horror, fetish, ritual, and theatre so hard that the line between performance and possession becomes somewhat blurry.

And honestly?
That’s why Halloween burlesque and cabaret audiences keep coming back.

THE BEAUTIFUL, FILTHY REALITY:

Behind the scenes, the whole month of October means:

Fake blood that defies physics
Costumes that will never be the same again (usually due to the damn fake blood!)
Stage managers quietly questioning their life choices
Boss Lady wielding disinfectant like a sacred relic, and still scrubbing the stage clean at 3am
A mop that has seen baaaaaaad things
At least one performer insisting: “don't worry - it’ll be fine!”
A tarpaulin that did not deserve what happened to it

But onstage?
It’s absolutely bloody glorious!

Halloween lets performers be monsters.

Halloween allows beauty standards to rot, glamour to distort, and desire to get uncomfortable. Devils seduce. Witches enchant. Bodies bend. Faces contort. Music pulses like a heartbeat.

It’s not meant to be safe.
It’s meant to be unforgettable.

And when the audience leans in instead of backing away - when they dress up, howl, cheer, and surrender to the weirdness - that’s when the magic hits properly.

That’s when October earns its thorny crown in the entertainment calendar.

Halloween is exhausting.
Halloween is filthy.
Halloween is spectacular.

If you want safe, stay home.
If you want spooky, sexy, mind-bending weirdness - THIS is Halloween!

BOSS LADY WISDOM:

Never, EVER trust a performer who says their fake blood pour can be “contained” over the tarpaulin.

This is not sarcasm.
This is the truth.

ENTER THE DARKNESS!

If you crave dark cabaret, gothic spectacle, and immersive Halloween burlesque energy, keep your eyes on our Cabaret Gothique shows this year.

Dress up.

Go feral.

Lean into the ritual.

Some nights aren’t meant to be watched.
They’re meant to be survived.

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique - The QUEEN of Halloween!

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

The Velvet Burlesque YouTube Channel - Watch Past Shows, Routines, and Cabaret Magic!

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 00:03:58 GMT

Discover the Velvet Burlesque YouTube channel - packed with past performances, behind-the-scenes moments, backstage mischief, and iconic show highlights.

Curated personally by the BOSS LADY herself, Lara Gothique.

DISCOVER THE MAGIC OF OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Let me tell you something delicious that some people still haven't seen ... The Velvet Burlesque YouTube channel is gloriously spectacular, well-stocked, and absolutely brimming with burlesque and cabaret magic!

Yes, a whole magical corner of the internet where you can feast your eyes on past performances, cabaret mischief, behind-the-scenes antics, and glitter-soaked moments from the stage.

And if you're the kind of person who loves watching sparkly chaos unfold in high definition while still wearing your pyjamas, then congratulations - this online treasure trove was practically handcrafted just for you!

WHY WE CREATED THE CHANNEL

It’s one thing to hear about what we do as one of the UK’s leading independent burlesque and cabaret companies.

It’s another thing to see it for yourself.

Our YouTube channel exists because:

Not everyone can get to a show every time
Our performers deserve to be seen and celebrated over and over again
Our audience deserves somewhere to binge-feast on fabulousness
YOU deserve a place to dive deep into The Velvet Burlesque’s world any time you need a boost of sparkle, sass, or escapism

And between you and me … it’s also an excellent way to fall in love with our shows before booking your next show or workshop ticket!

WHAT YOU’LL FIND ON THE CHANNEL

Full performance videos from previous Velvet Burlesque shows
Show trailers dripping in glamour and utter gorgeousness
Behind-the-scenes footage (including ALL the chaos)
Special announcements, competitions, and exclusive updates
Magical moments from our stage that deserve to live on forever

And with the new Boss Lady Unleashed series launching soon - trust me - it’s worth subscribing (simply for the upcoming, sweary bloopers!).

A LOVE LETTER TO THE VELVET BURLESQUE AUDIENCE

You’ve told me for years that watching past performances helps you stay connected to the shows, the cast, the community, and this feral BOSS LADY that you’ve grown to love.

So, this is me - us - saying:
Thank you for watching.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for supporting independent burlesque, cabaret and circus.
You keep the lights on, the glitter stocked, and the dream alive.

BOSS LADY WISDOM

Sometimes the easiest way to reconnect with your own creative spark is simply to watch someone else set theirs on fire.
(Preferably safely!)

READY TO DIVE IN?

Here’s your official invitation to binge-watch the brilliance: The Velvet Burlesque YouTube Channel

And if you enjoy what you see, hit that SUBSCRIBE button with the enthusiasm of a rhinestone flying off during a high kick.

THEN DON'T FORGET TO COME BACK HERE AND BOOK TICKETS TO SEE US LIVE TOO!

Upcoming shows and events can be found here: THE VELVET BURLESQUE SHOW!

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Why Refining Your Dance Routine Matters: Turning Choreography into Artistry

Sat, 25 Oct 2025 23:58:06 GMT

Why Refining Your Dance Routine Matters: Turning Choreography into Artistry

WHY REFINING MATTERS - EVEN AFTER YOU’VE “FINISHED” THE DANCE IN CLASS OR REHEARSAL

You’ve spent the last six (or more!) weeks learning, building, sweating, laughing, and swearing your way through a brand-new piece of choreography, and now we’ve reached that magical point where we’ve put the ending on it.

The temptation at this stage is to tick it off the list and move on. But here’s the truth: this is exactly when the real magic starts to happen.

REFINEMENT WEEKS: WHERE THE DANCE COMES ALIVE

Those “catch-up” or “refinement” weeks are not just filler sessions.
They’re where your dance starts breathing - where the shapes you’ve built become fluid, the transitions become effortless, and your body begins to speak the story behind the choreography.

When you come back to refine, you’re not just repeating steps - you’re adding texture, nuance, and emotion. You’re learning to let go of the counting and start dancing from the inside out.

Every time you revisit a sequence, it settles deeper into your body. It becomes muscle memory, confidence, and power. That’s when your hard work truly starts to shine.

REFINEMENT BUILDS MUSCLE MEMORY AND ARTISTIC DEPTH

Here’s a little secret: the deeper a dance sinks into your body and mind, the easier it becomes to bring it back in the future.

Whether it’s for a show performance, a class throwback, or a future choreography revival, you’ll be able to pull it from your 'brain archives' with ease - because your body already knows it.

You’re not relearning; you’re re-awakening.

This is the quiet mastery that separates a good dancer from a captivating one - refinement transforms choreography into artistry.

THE GOLD DUST AT THE END OF THE PROCESS

So when I encourage dancers to come to those catch-up and polishing sessions, it’s not pointless.

It’s the gold dust at the end of the process - the part that turns steps into storytelling, and choreography into confidence.

Don’t just learn the dance.

Live it.

Refine it.

Let it evolve until it feels like an extension of who you are.

That’s when all those hours of learning, sweating, swearing, laughing, and trusting the process finally pay off.

RECONNECT WITH THE CHOREOGRAPHY, AND REMEMBER WHY WE DANCE

Because the real artistry begins not when the choreography ends, but when you start to breathe life into it.

And that is what nurtures our creative soul!

JOIN US!

Explore our current dance classes, course dates, and upcoming workshops:

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: September

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 23:52:43 GMT

��️ September - the month where everyone’s moaning about the weather, and Producers are drowning in Halloween booking requests, whilst hunting for a gorelesque clown, and a sparkly rabbit on stilts who can hand-balance!

THE GREAT BRITISH SEASONAL WHINGE!

Ah, September. That strange limbo between sweaty summer chaos and the descent into Goth Christmas (that’s Halloween, for the uninitiated).

Audience members, performers, dance/fitness clients, and venue owners who spent July and August moaning that it was “too bloody hot” are now acting personally offended by cardigans, drizzle, and darker evenings. The same people who begged for cooler weather last month are now traumatised by the sight of autumn clouds.

THE EVER-EXPANDING ALLURE OF SPOOKY SEASON:

Dressing rooms start to get damp and draughty, and the never-ending admin race is on to make sure you've booked the most weird and wonderful cast performers for the upcoming spooky season run of shows, events, and parties.

The inevitable drop-outs come in - performer injury, illnesses, long-term booking contract date clashes, and so I start my annual ritual of posting performer re-casting calls on social media and casting pages.

And let me tell you: casting posts are absolute chaos!

If you’ve never written one, imagine shouting into the void, and being answered by glitter-covered artistes who simply don't read the job details.

I’ll write a casting post that states: “Wanted: horror-based or gorelesque acts for [insert specific date].”

And within minutes, I’ll receive: “Hi babe, I do a Taylor Swift routine with bubble wands, can I be in your Halloween show?”

Or, my personal favourite: “I can’t do those exact Friday/Saturday dates, but I’m free the Tuesday after if that helps?”

No, my love.
The undead party-people do not clock in midweek.

So I spend my days (and nights!) sifting through random casting submissions, including (non-spooky!) reindeer, sugar plum fairies, and very shaky iPhone videos of performers taken from the back of the audience, whilst desperately hunting for a blood-soaked cabaret clown who won’t terrify the catering staff, and who won't leave a costume-related bloodstain on the venue's 18th-century floorboards.

And, just when I think I’m done, I get the phone call: “We need a hand-balancer in a full white rabbit costume for an Alice in Wonderland meet-and-greet ... in six days.”

Of course you do.

THE MYTH OF THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM

September is not “the calm before the storm.” It IS the storm - it’s just wearing a rhinestoned trench coat, and pretending to be organised.

Everyone thinks showbiz autumn is cosy and calm, but behind the scenes, it’s double-shot caffeine, additional spreadsheets, and trying to remember if you’ve paid your insurance renewal, while your inbox screams in glitter, and pings in with client requests along the lines of "C an you do me a family-friendly Halloween disco party with decapitated nuns on stilts for the Accounts Office? " shenanigans.

Meanwhile, the to-do list reproduces like a virus, as Christmas showbiz season is also looming ... costume fittings, prop sourcing, invoice chasing, social media posting, performer wrangling - all while trying to look mysterious and unbothered online.

Every time you cross one thing off the list, three more appear, usually labelled "URGENT BOOKING IN LONDON", and sent at 2:30am by someone who thinks “exposure” is a valid form of payment.

And yet, somehow, amid the glitter cannon explosions, the protein bars and caffeine-fuelled chaos, it all comes together.

Because it has to.

Because that’s showbiz - equal parts panic, passion, and pixie dust.

BOSS LADY WISDOM:

If September were a person, it’d be the shrill-voiced performer who turns up forty-five minutes late to rehearsals, clutching a pumpkin spice latte, and immediately asking if they can tech first as they need more time to do their stage make-up - which, actually, they forgot to pack, so do you know if 'Boots' is still open ...?!

So here’s your wisdom: Stop pretending you’re going to “find balance” this month. The only balance happening this Autumn is a very bendy man in a white rabbit suit trying not to pass out under the stage lights.

If you want to witness the organised chaos and the sparkle that somehow rises from it, join us for one of our upcoming Velvet Burlesque Shows & Events !

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Beginner’s Guide to Choosing Dance Shoes | Velvet Burlesque

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 15:54:02 GMT

Choosing the right shoes is key to your dance journey. This Velvet Burlesque guide covers the best beginner footwear, shoe care hacks, and what to avoid.

YOUR FEET ARE YOUR FOUNDATION

Never feel guilty about investing in high-quality dance shoes. They’re not just footwear - they’re an extension of your whole body, giving you the freedom to move safely, powerfully, and with confidence.

Whether you’re brand new to classes or already a seasoned stage strutter, the right footwear makes all the difference.

At The Velvet Burlesque, I teach burlesque dance, cabaret dance, heels dance, and show dance, as well as theatrical movement, which means your shoes need to help you glide, spin, strut, and shimmy all while keeping you stable, confident, and blister-free.

So, what should you wear on your dance journey? Here’s my complete beginner-friendly dance shoe guide.

START WITH A LOW(ER) HEEL, AND BUILD FROM THERE

Your shoes should support your confidence as much as your feet.

Great options for classes include:

Low-heeled character shoes - a timeless go-to for stage and studio
Supportive dance-specific sneakers - perfect if you need more cushioning or arch support
Latin style dance shoes - flexible suede soles, ankle straps, and a choice of heel styles and heights. (I love a standard flared heel, which offers greater stability and balance in lessons.)

Note: Dance boots can look fantastic, but they do restrict some foot and ankle movement. They can also tempt the wearer to rely on the upper fabric for support rather than building and using their own muscle control (which is very important for all kinds of dance and sports, as well as day-to-day life). As much as I love them (and yes, I own plenty!), I wouldn’t recommend making boots your only pair of dance shoes if you’re just beginning your dance journey.

WHAT TO AVOID (FOR NOW)

Even if you’re feeling fierce, leave the high stiletto style heels at home unless you're already well-practised in them. They look powerful, but demand serious balance, strength, and foot/ankle training. Trust me - you’ll enjoy dancing far more if you’re not having to clench your toes in terror! (Which, by the way, won’t do your dance alignment any favours either)
I don‘t allow (solid) platform shoes in my dance classes - you can’t feel the floor in them for (most of) the styles of dance that I teach, and that can kill your connection, control and overall safety.
Slingbacks are also not a stable enough shoe for dance classes.
I'd also suggest not buying second-hand shoes from (eg) Vinted/eBay, etc. These are already moulded to the original wearer's foot, and are generally only sold when they start to become unstable/unsuitable for wear. It might look like a bargain, but it’s false economy!

BOSS LADY TIP: TRY BEFORE YOU BUY (AT FIRST)

Your dream shoes might look divine online, but your feet will expose the truth within minutes.

Try on in person if possible - GOOGLE dancewear shops in your local area
Or buy from an online retailer with a proper returns policy. (Always carefully check the returns policy for custom-made shoes where you pick your own heel height, etc.)
If you’re buying from an online retailer, always read the description and size guide carefully. Remember that sizing and fit can vary hugely between different shoe styles – even on the same website.

Once you’ve built up confidence in which shoe styles and heel heights work for you, shopping online becomes much easier (and a lot less risky!). I'm always happy to recommend my favourite websites if you contact me.

CARING FOR YOUR DANCE SHOES:

Once you've invested in them - look after them!

After Class:

• Air them out! Dance shoes get very sweaty (glamour is an illusion!)

• Brush suede soles with a wire-based shoe brush to keep them smooth and grippy.

• Store them with a pouch of baking soda or silica sachets to reduce odours. I also spritz mine with white vinegar after each wear to help reduce smells and bacteria. (Neat Vodka also works well ... on the shoes, not down your gullet!)

Long-Term Shoe TLC:

• Don’t wear dance shoes outside - ever (unless they're specially made for dual use, and with a hard sole)

• Rotate between pairs if possible - let them breathe

• Clean scuffs gently with a damp cloth, and polish leather styles to keep them looking stage-ready.

GOT ANY SHOE-RELATED QUESTIONS? PLEASE DO ASK ME!

Every foot is different, and so is every dancer. I’m always happy to advise in class if you’re unsure what to buy, or if you’ve had a shoe disaster and need a plan B.

And one final note: if you’ve bought a pair you can’t return, you’re always welcome to try reselling dance shoes in class. It keeps them in the community and might just help another dancer find their perfect fit.

READY TO START YOUR DANCE JOURNEY?

Join us at The Velvet Burlesque! Whether you’re looking for classes, workshops, or show-stopping stage performances, your next adventure begins here:

�� CALLING DANCE SHOE BRANDS: COLLABORATE WITH VELVET BURLESQUE TO PUT YOUR FOOTWEAR IN THE SPOTLIGHT!

Are you a dance shoe brand or retailer looking to reach dancers who want confidence, safety, and style from their footwear?

At The Velvet Burlesque, I teach and perform to thousands of students and audiences across the UK (and beyond) every year. By collaborating, we can help dancers find their perfect fit in high-quality, supportive dance shoes, while giving your brand standout visibility across classes, workshops, shows, and social media.

Let’s work together to put your shoes in the spotlight!

GET IN TOUCH

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Building Backstage Bonds - The Power of Performer Camaraderie

Wed, 27 Aug 2025 21:14:28 GMT

Building Backstage Bonds:

Why Backstage Camaraderie Matters More Than You Think

THE SACRED SPACE BEHIND THE CURTAIN:

There’s a certain hush behind the curtains before the lights go up. You can literally feel it - the thrill, the adrenaline, the energy crackling through the air. It’s a sacred space - one that holds every last-minute pep talk, costume adjustment, and whispered "you’ve got this" before we step into the spotlight.

And in that sacred space, backstage bonds aren’t just nice to have - they’re absolutely essential.

WHY BACKSTAGE CAMARADERIE ISN'T JUST FLUFF:

Let’s be truthful - no amount of rhinestones or rehearsals will save a show if the backstage energy is toxic. Audiences might not see it directly, but they definitely feel it. When performers trust and support each other offstage, it creates an unspoken harmony that radiates onstage.

Strong backstage bonds:

Ease pre-show nerves
Help quick-changes run smoother
Foster mutual respect during high-pressure moments
Prevent diva drama or passive-aggressive tension
Turn individual performers into an actual ensemble

IT'S MORE THAN JUST “BEING NICE”:

This isn't about performative positivity, being fake, or simply pretending to like everyone. We’re all human. Some nights are hard, and some personalities will always clash. But building backstage camaraderie means showing up with basic kindness, professionalism, politeness, and presence.

It means:

Offering a safety pin, or helping someone with a quick change.
Not hogging the mirror when someone’s got 3 mins to get into full face.
Asking, "Are you ok?" when someone looks a little off.
Cheering others on, even when your own nerves are spiking.

These little acts of solidarity are the glue that holds the backstage chaos together.

PRODUCERS & CREW NOTICE:

As a producer as well as a performer, I see it all. The ones who lift each other up? They stand out. The ones who vanish into their own ego? Also noted. The ones who are rude and selfish - for me; I add them to my blacklist, no matter how good they are on stage! This business is hard enough without a disdainful energy vampire making everyone else's working day bloody miserable!

The energy backstage never stays backstage - it leaks into every audience interaction, every group number, every curtain call.

Performers who build each other up offstage make the whole production stronger. And trust me - producers remember those people.

And yes - producers talk. Behind the sc enes, we always ask each other about performers. Reputation - good or bad - travels FAST!

* This behind the scenes network chatter goes for problematic producers too!

YOUR BACKSTAGE BEHAVIOUR COUNTS TOWARDS YOUR REPUTATION:

You can have the best solo in the show, but if you’re known as a bloody nightmare behind the scenes, guess who’s not getting invited back?

If you show up with a helpful attitude, respect the producer, show crew, cast, space, and cheer for others - you’re already a pro in the making, if not already.

FINAL WORD FROM THE BOSS LADY:

The Velvet Burlesque - like so many other shows - is built on far more than glitter and feathers. It’s built on trust, teamwork, and true backstage respect. We work hard. We play harder. But most of all, we lift each other up.

So, the next time you step into that dressing room, remember: the real magic begins backstage.

Fluff your lashes, stand tall, and show up not just for yourself, but for every single cast-mate beside you. Because that energy? That connection? That fierce, fabulous unity?

That’s what makes a show unforgettable for everyone involved.

Want to experience it all for yourself? Join a class , apply to be on our stage, or grab a ticket to our next event!

�� Subscribe to the Velvet Burlesque newsletter for show updates, and exclusive content.

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: August

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 17:02:36 GMT

�� AUGUST - The Heatwave of Delusion

YES - I KNOW IT’S BLOODY HOT!

You’ve just made it through yet another UK summer heatwave while running classes, training clients, producing shows and parties, choreographing routines, managing casting auditions, replying to emails, sourcing costumes, and juggling a dozen ongoing projects - all while people keep telling you “It’s really hot in here, isn’t it?”

YES!

It’s hot.

It’s hot in the studio.

It’s hot backstage.

It’s hot in the theatre.

It’s hot in the dressing rooms.

It’s hot during tech.

It’s hot under a few tons of stage lighting.

It’s hot when you're doing a performance in rhinestones and a corset while smiling through a false lash malfunction, and dehydration cramp.

And yes - you’ve been told that it's hot.
Again.
And again.
AND AGAIN!

Class and workshop members, personal training clients, performers, crew, show audiences - everyone has announced it like it’s a fresh discovery.

Meanwhile, you’re running a one-woman empire of glittered chaos, surviving on iced protein shakes, and the (literal!) burning rage of someone who hasn’t had a full day off since April.

✨ DELUSIONS OF THE MONTH:

• “I’ll take a bit of a summer break at the end of August” - You have three more private events, five workshops, and a client asking for a last-minute immersive mermaid-based circus garden party.

• “This time I’ll just gently glide into autumn.” - You fall face-first into a giant to-do list, a booking request that reads like a GCSE drama project, and someone emailing to ask if your late-night burlesque show is “family-friendly.”

• “I’ll finally sit outside and read a book.” - You read emails. On your phone. While sitting near the book that you bought around three years ago, and still haven't got past the front cover.

✨ YOU MAY EXPERIENCE:

• A vague desire to scream into a cooler box.

• Losing your nipple tassels at least once every show due to the sheer amount of heat and sweat.
• Rapidly air-drying your costumes on the truck/car parcel shelf before the next show stop.
• Internal screaming while smiling onstage with no air-con available in the entire building.

• A full existential meltdown over a broken fan and an unreadable USB.

• A festival-friendly poly-box full of multiple opened (and leaking) sunscreens.

• Packing three spare outfits in case your current one finally gives up the ghost in the heat.

• Having to politely smile at yet another person who loudly (and too bloody obviously!) observes, “It’s a bit hot in here, isn't it?” while you’re trying not to dissolve into a glittery, sweaty puddle of lycra and rhinestones.

✨ POWER SURVIVAL TOOLS:

• A very specific tone of voice that says, “YES - I KNOW IT’S BLOODY HOT,” without getting cancelled.

• Setting spray, waterproof mascara, and industrial-strength deodorant.

• A backstage fan rotation strategy that rivals a NASA flight plan.

• Your signature “Do Not F*ck With Me” look - albeit very sweaty.

✨ BOSS LADY WISDOM:

You’ve got this. Sweat, sarcasm, sequins, and all.

You’ve smiled through heatstroke, restaged three acts in tech in 40-degree heat, and answered 87 emails in the dressing room between lash glue layers.

And when it all feels like too much?
Take five, regroup, rehydrate, and remember: Everyone will be complaining that it's too bloody cold in a month or two ... SHOW-FACE!

✨ FEELING THE HEAT TOO?

See what’s on and how to join the madness: �� JOIN US!

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Dance Teacher Lies: The Truth Behind the Glitter

Sat, 16 Aug 2025 21:40:17 GMT

Think your dance teacher’s being honest?

Think again!

From “one more time” to “this is easy” - here’s the truth behind the lies.

Let’s be honest - every dance teacher has told a few fibs in their time.

Not the malicious kind, just the slightly sparkly untruths that slip out mid-class when the sweat is flying, the knees are clicking, and someone’s make-up has dripped halfway down their face.

So, in the name of transparency (and a bit of fun), here’s a list of the most notorious #DanceTeacherLies we’ve all heard - or said (*cough*) - at some point on the studio floor ...

✨ "ONE MORE TIME!"

Ah yes. The most famous lie of them all.
Translation: We’re doing it (at least) five more times until we all either nail it or die trying. Probably both.
Why we say it: Because you won't give full energy unless you think it's the last one.

Psychology, darling ... TRUST THE PROCESS!

✨ "THIS ROUTINE WILL BE PRETTY EASY."

To whom? A caffeinated spider with a ballet diploma?!
It's not easy.

At all.

It’s relentlessly layered, heavily stylised, with numerous rogue counts, and just a tiny bit of floorwork.

Speaking of which ...

✨ "I WON’T GIVE YOU ANOTHER ROUTINE WITH FLOORWORK FOR A WHILE."

Cut to next week: full-on floor crawl and dramatic body drags, leg sweeps, and a backwards shoulder roll into a sultry hair whip.
Look, I meant it at the time, but sometimes the music demands it!

✨ "THE NEXT ROUTINE WILL BE SLOWER."

Sure.

Slower tempo, but with twice the intricacy, four-double spins, and a facial expression that screams “I’m sultry, but don't want to look as though I'm trying too hard, except I am, and I want to look aloof, but not too aloof, while also obviously caring deeply about the seriousness of the lyrics". (But now you just look like you've got cramp!)

Pacing is a lie.

✨ "THIS BIT’S JUST A POSE."

LOL.

It’s a pose ... with weight transfer, controlled breathing, perfectly angled fingers, facial performance that would make a drag queen weep, and core engagement worthy of an Olympic gymnast.
But yes - technically, still just a pose.

✨ THE TRUTH?

We lie with love.

These sparkly lies are all part of the showbiz sorcery - pushing you to your limits without terrifying you in advance.
You can do it.

You WILL do it.
You will swear, you will sweat, and you might threaten to glue your knee pads on permanently, but you’ll own every move, and keep coming back for more.

Deep down, you love the lies too.

✨ JOIN US!

Whether you’re new to The Velvet Burlesque or already part of the glitter cult, you’re welcome into our dance studio anytime!

Whether you're a seasoned stage siren or a curious chaos-seeker, the dance floor is open.

Join the movement, sweat through the sparkle, and embrace the fib-fuelled fabulousness!

�� Book your Dance Class or Dance Workshop NOW!

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: July

Wed, 23 Jul 2025 17:48:52 GMT

JULY - The Mid-Year Mirrorball Moment

July - seven months in, and you wonder where the hell the year went already!

A weird mix of exhaustion, reflection, and sudden ambition.
You remember you were going to “take it easier this year.”
You laugh.

You were so young then.

So full of dreams.

You’re now gone midway through the year, surrounded by 112 unfinished admin tasks, 7 half-started projects, 4 side quests, and a worrying number of new costumes under construction. You also need to complete your accounts for submission. Oh, and don't forget to pay your July tax bill!

Also, the heatwave continues. You’ve had enough of everyone telling you how hot it is at the show, in classes, at the club, in general. I mean - probably the one thing I can't control right now is the heat, I'm sorry! I KNOW IT'S HOT! (It's summer!)

✨ DELUSIONS OF THE MONTH:
• “I’ll take a little time off in July.” (You teach 42 classes, and run 4 parties and workshops.)
• “This private booking will be chill and low-key.” (There are three fire acts, and the client now wants a performer to bring a python.)
• “I’ll definitely sort my receipts before the next tax quarter.” (You open Excel once. Then shut it.)
• “I’m not adding any more castings right now.” (You add four.)

✨ YOU MAY EXPERIENCE:

• Sudden mid-year business strategy hyperfocus
• A late-night Photoshop stint for some “quick” graphic updates
• Complaints from your (now lacking) immune system
• Dreams about re-packing the show stock cupboard in the right order
• An intense conversation with yourself about “why you do this” ( ... yet again)

✨ POWER SURVIVAL TOOLS:

• 4 electric fans - three for air circulation, one simply for dramatic effect
• A separate notebook for mid-year re-planning (you also buy another ... just in case)
• Your default show face: part sparkle, part dead-eyed stare ( = incoming burnout)
• A desktop calendar that now only accepts vague, colour-coded entries

✨ BOSS LADY WISDOM:

You’re not just a business owner. You’re the entire HR department, marketing team, finance manager, tech support, content creator, hotel and flight booker, music editor, equipment hirer, emotional support human, and caffeine & Haribo Tangfastics dealer, with a side hustle in interpretive dance, lewd swearing, dramatic sighing, and silent screaming into spreadsheets.

Whatever business chaos you're surviving this month - just know you're probably doing better than you think, and you're absolutely not alone in the glitter-smeared trenches.

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

What to Look For in a Dance or Fitness Teacher - Safety, Experience & Professionalism

Sat, 19 Jul 2025 16:16:08 GMT

Why a qualified, professional, insured, and experienced teacher matters for your safety and success.

DANCE and FITNESS TEACHERS - LET’S TALK STANDARDS:

I’m seeing a growing number of dance and fitness classes popping up on social media, and while that’s great in theory, it’s also a sign to be extra aware.

This post isn’t about gatekeeping - it’s about helping you to make more informed and safer choices.

NOT ALL TEACHERS ARE CREATED EQUAL:

Thinking of joining a dance or fitness class or workshop? Excellent choice! Movement is joy, it’s therapy, it’s transformation. But, before you throw yourself into that first kick-ball-change, ask yourself:

Who is teaching you, and are they actually qualified or experienced enough to do so?

Flashy footwork, or complicated mat moves mean nothing if your teacher can't support your body, your injuries/illnesses, your needs, or your journey.

ASK QUESTIONS. CHECK CREDENTIALS:
- Is your teacher qualified to teach?
- Do they have real, studied knowledge of injuries, illnesses, disabilities, and neurodiversity, and have the experience and skills to adapt your session safely and effectively? You’re dealing with bodies in motion - without proper training, teachers may unknowingly cause injuries or aggravate conditions.
- Are they First Aid trained and capable of responding in an emergency?

- Are they insured in case something goes wrong?

Because it’s not just about teaching moves - it’s about knowing how to keep you safe, empowered, and progressing in the right way.

AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT:
- Is your teacher running a legitimate (insured) business, or is this more of a casual side-hustle without the accountability that comes with professional responsibility?

If you’re investing your time, your body, and your money, make sure your teacher is investing just as much in professionalism, safety, and experience!

A LITTLE BALANCE HERE:
Whilst I would always urge someone to attend classes or workshops with an experienced, qualified teacher, I also recognise that there are many teachers out there without formal qualifications who are exceptional at what they do.

My suggestion is still this:
- Make sure they’re capable of looking after you properly and safely
- Check they are insured
- Confirm they are running a legitimate, accountable business

YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO ASK QUESTIONS AND EXPECT ANSWERS.

✅ Expect professionalism.

✅ Expect standards.

✅ Know your worth.

If you are looking to start your dance or fitness journey - LOOK NO FURTHER !

Get in touch today!

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque ™

Why Music And Movement Are The Lifeblood of The Velvet Burlesque.

Fri, 11 Jul 2025 14:28:10 GMT

Discover how music and movement unlock emotion, spark powerful transformation, and why they’re at the heart of everything we do at The Velvet Burlesque.

There are few things more powerful, more primal, or more personal than music.
It’s rhythm.

It’s memory.

It’s heartbeat.

It’s permission.

From the deepest tribal drum to the pulse of a bassline, music doesn’t just accompany movement - it creates it. For those of us who move for a living, the body becomes more than a vessel, it becomes the loudest part of who we are.

For me, music has always been the ignition.

Whether it’s the heartbeat pound of a stage performance track, or the quiet thrum of wind through trees, rhythm drives me in my body, my soul, and even in the midst of everyday life.

It allows me to express parts of myself that everyday conversation, polite social norms, and life admin never could, and I know I’m not alone in that.

MOVEMENT IS MEDICINE:

In this world of rush-hour stress and digital overwhelm, we forget how deeply human it is to move with feeling.

Music is often our first language of emotion, long before we can even speak.

Through burlesque, cabaret, and expressive dance - whether on stage or in classes and workshops, I’ve watched people return to themselves through music. I've witnessed tears, laughter, and joy as people reconnect with their bodies - sometimes for the first time in decades.

It’s not about being perfect.
It’s not even about performing.
It’s about feeling something honestly, and spiritually , and letting that truth move through you.

THIS ISN’T JUST MOVEMENT - IT’S A MISSION, AND I BUILT A BUSINESS AROUND IT:

Creating Velvet Burlesque around this core truth has been an act of devotion.
It’s taken absolute grit, stubbornness to succeed, resilience, and more late nights, Dairy Milk, and caffeine than I care to admit.

Keeping this space fresh and relevant - while still deeply rooted in safety, inclusivity, and joy, is a constant process. People change. Needs change. The rhythm changes.
But the purpose never has.

This business has become more than a platform for art - it’s a sanctuary. For me, and for the tens of thousands I’ve taught, mentored, danced with, and watched transform across the decades.

We’ve danced through heartbreak, rage, illness, grief, and celebration. Together.
And none of it would have been possible without music at the core.

THIS IS YOUR INVITATION:

If you’ve ever felt stifled, stuck, overwhelmed, or just bloody bored - this is your reminder that movement is still there. Your inner rhythm is still there. Your body remembers. And you don’t need permission.

And if you do want a safe, joy-filled, wildly empowering place to explore that connection - I’ve made one for you.

Come dance with us.

Come find your rhythm.

It’s not just dance and fitness. It’s a joyous return to YOU.

READY TO MOVE YOUR BODY AND YOUR SOUL?

Check out our latest classes, plus shows and events here:

- Dance Classes

- Dance Workshops

- Fitness Classes

- Shows & Events

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

The Unseen Chaos of the Post-Show Packdown Battle!

Wed, 09 Jul 2025 22:15:52 GMT

Welcome to the backstage world of post-event pack-downs and load-outs! (Usually in the p*ssing rain!)

✨ THE GLAMOUR AFTERMATH: WHAT REALLY HAPPENS POST-SHOW

So you think the curtain call is the end? Oh no, it's only halfway through!

The audience has cheered, the curtain has closed, and the glitter has settled into every nook and cranny, but for us backstage - the night is far from over.

It's not glamorous. It's not particularly fun. But it’s as much a part of the magic as the spotlight and rhinestones.

This is a peek behind the sequin-strewn curtain at what really happens once the theatre lights dim and the audience members stumble home with stars in their eyes (and at least one lost phone wedged between the seats on Row G).

✨ PACK DOWN PANDEMONIUM

Packing down a full burlesque and cabaret show is a physically demanding ritual of its own:

Dragging props, set pieces, and sorting emergency toolkits back into their specific cases. (Because heaven forbid anyone loses that 10mm spanner!)
Carefully loading sound and lighting equipment back into flight cases with the care of a heart surgeon, because one wrong jolt, and the rig goes rogue.
Discovering that zip-ties have mysteriously multiplied in your absence, but none of them match the sizes you need now.
Wrestling with poly-boxes that used to close, but now laugh at your optimism.
Folding costumes with a whisper of hope they’ll survive another round.
Sorting through your costume underwear/fishnets to wash in the sink at the hotel later.
Hunting through dressing rooms for rogue eyelashes, wigs, and the ever-mysterious missing shoe. (Every damn show!)

It takes hours.

And no matter how smooth the show went, this part will always involve someone (ie: ME!) getting a phone-call from either a performer (who is already 50miles away down the M1) or an audience member saying they've lost a sequin-covered thigh harness or a handbag somewhere deep in the haze of the theatre.

✨ VAN LOADING, RANDOM DRUNKS, AND 3:30am FOOD QUESTS

Once the venue is cleared, it's time to load the van(s) - usually in the rain, in the dark, navigating numerous fire-exit steps, and with some random drunk guy who keeps mooching around trying to talk to you whilst (bizarrely!) holding a mannequin leg. All the while, a Security Guard watches on - constantly asking you how much longer you'll think it will take, whilst not even stepping aside to let you lug a huge motorised carousel pony prop through a part-open doorway.

It’s some form of magical van-packing Tetris.

Eventually, you locate the only food place still open and selling something vaguely edible at nearly 4am.

You and your Stage Manager sit in the van, surrounded by glitter, props, empty water bottles, and take-out wrappers - dissociating quietly, whilst each holding a lukewarm burger.

*A bonus find is a 24hr ASDA or TESCO (*other superstores are available), where you will proceed to buy ALL the snacks in a post-show food frenzy, and a random pair of flip-flops, despite you not having a holiday planned.

✨ HOME (OR HOTEL): THE HOLY LAND OF THE BED

Whether it’s a budget hotel, or your own sweet, sweet mattress - that moment you finally peel off your clothes and sink into horizontal bliss is blooming holy.

But first, of course:

Open the laptop.
Process any new ticket orders for the next show (because we do all this again very soon).
Scroll through the joyous flood of audience selfies, tags, and post-show hype posts. (I do love this bit!)
Accidentally lose another 45 minutes in a social media rabbit hole
Realise that you still need to take a shower and scrape your show-face make-up off. (Finding your false lashes storage case is a bonus, but you can always stick them to the mirror for the time being.)

✨ THE FINAL RITUAL: LASHES OFF & BRAIN OFF (MAYBE ... PROBABLY NOT)

Eventually, it’s shower time. The hot water hits and the lashes come off like a theatrical snake shedding glitter.

You stand there, zoned out, wondering:

Did I actually go on stage tonight?
Did I remember to thank everyone involved on show day?
Did someone really eat an apple on the front row during the show?
Do I have to do this all again next weekend?

Yes.

All the yes.

✨ (FINALLY!) DROP INTO BED. SLEEP FOR A FEW HOURS. THEN REPEAT.

And that, dear readers, is the untold truth of what generally happens after the show.

It's bloody hard work.

It's utterly exhausting.

And we wouldn’t change it for the world.

✨ Want to be part of the chaos, beauty, and mischief?
Come to the next Velvet Burlesque show or try one of our dance classes - maybe you'll find out more of what goes on in our gloriously glittered world!

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: June

Wed, 09 Jul 2025 16:27:17 GMT

JUNE - The month of Midsummer Madness

No one else knows what the hell is going on, so no one can help.

There’s so much fake foliage, fire performance fuel containers, event licences, and antlers.

YOU'RE CURRENTLY JUGGLING:
✨ One Midsummer Ball
✨ Three private shows
✨ Entertainment for two wedding receptions
✨ Choreography and rehearsals with a Bride and Groom for their first dance

✨ Multiple performer castings that performers keep sending incorrect information for - aerial acts for a casting that specifies no aerial, fire performers for a casting that states no fire/no flame, and some performers aren't actually available on the specific date that you'd stated in the casting but want you to know that they are available for other dates that you aren't actually casting for.

✨ New choreography for the next new class routine which starts at the end of the month, alongside weekly teaching for ongoing classes and private clients.

✨ Ongoing management and running of a community-based event venue
✨ A hopeful, and rare weekend off (unless Sod’s Law steps in ... obviously)

You keep telling people it’s “manageable.”
You’ve said it so many times now, you almost believe it.

YOU MAY EXPERIENCE:
• Your entire calendar being ruled by performer tech deadlines, haze machines, seating plans, music editing software, and confetti cannons
• Tech emails sent with the subject line “URGENT DETAILS NEEDED BEFORE SETTING OFF” in the hope that the performer actually reads it when they open their inbox, as they have still not sent in their technical information for the Sound & Lighting crew to pre-set, despite numerous email requests over the past few weeks.
• Packing spares of EVERYTHING, because, if you've not brought a spare, you know the Gods of Sod's Law will laugh

• SFX testing in your kitchen or garden
• Show notes scribbled on your forearm and random post-it notes around the house
• Three simultaneous group chats spiralling into random chatter, and not the information you needed to get back from people involved

• A strong sense that you’ve possibly double-booked yourself for something in a social calendar somewhere, despite your current workload, but there's no documented proof or additional WhatsApp group chat ... yet

POWER SURVIVAL TOOLS:
• A time-ravaged set-list clipboard with three different schedules that have multiple scribbled notes all over them in the ever-mystical 4-colour pen
• Emergency protein bars, a fully-stocked wash-bag, and backup lashes
• Numerous event playlists on various USB's (bouncing between Beyoncé, AC/DC, and thunderstorm ambience) played on repeat as you face the many roadworks of any given motorway or A-road in the UK whilst on your way to your next event location
• The glittered scowl of support from a V.B. Stage Manager who is also up to their ears in the multiple-live-event-chaos situation(s)

BOSS LADY WISDOM:

Stay calm.

Adapt.

Refocus.

Replan.

Swear (a lot).

Execute.

Breathe.

Think you could handle this? Or maybe you want to be part of the chaos?
✨ CHECK OUT WHAT'S ON OFFER VIA THE VELVET BURLESQUE !

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Dance Saved My Sanity. Movement as a Mental Health Lifeline

Wed, 04 Jun 2025 19:02:42 GMT

The Real, Raw Power of Moving Through the Madness.

There’s a moment – probably one you’ve felt too – when the world just feels too loud.

Too heavy.

Too broken.

And in the middle of it, you’re left carrying the weight of your own mind, wondering how the hell you're supposed to function when even just breathing feels like you have to think about it.

For me, that’s where dance steps in.

A necessary lifeline wrapped in music, sweat, and repetition.

A place where I can fall apart safely, then rebuild – limb by trembling limb.

DANCING THROUGH THE DARKNESS:

My story isn’t linear, and neither is healing. I’ve weathered far too many storms over the decades – ongoing chronic health challenges, grief that still grips, and a body that doesn’t always cooperate with my plans. Add a heavy dose of trauma, and sprinkle in multiple miscarriages and the physical damage beyond these, and well, the cocktail isn’t exactly delicious.

But, dance and movement? That was always mine.

Even when nothing else made sense, even when I couldn’t find the words – my body remembered the rhythm.

It knew what to do.

In those moments, dance wasn’t about being seen. It was about feeling something other than mental, physical, or emotional pain.

It was breath and grit.

Rage and joy.

It is how I always claw my way back.

MOVEMENT AS MEDICINE:

There’s science behind it – the endorphin rush, the nervous system reset, the sheer power of embodied emotion.

But beyond the science, there’s soul.

Movement gives shape to what we can’t say out loud.

It lets grief howl without apology.

It lets euphoria take up space in your chest and echo right through to your fingertips.

And let’s be honest: some days, it’s not about ‘loving your body’ or ‘finding your groove’. It’s about surviving the day without shattering. That counts too.

TRUST THE PROCESS (YES, EVEN WHEN IT’S MESSY):

I always say it – “Trust the process.”

Because healing isn’t linear.

Strength doesn’t look like perfection.

And your version of resilience might just be turning up to a dance class when you want to hide away from the world.

Classes aren't about becoming a star. They're about reclaiming your body, your time, your identity.

Whether you twirl, stomp, or sob through half the warm-up – you showed up.

That’s enough.

A SAFE SPACE FOR THE UNFILTERED YOU:

You’re not too broken.

You’re not too much.

And you’re not alone.

The Velvet Burlesque was born from the chaos as well as the calm. From the belief that we all need somewhere to move through the mess – no filters, no fancy footwork required. It’s more than sequins and show-face (although we love those too).

It’s connection.

It’s permission.

It’s release.

So if you’re burnt out, broken-hearted, or simply lost in the fog – Come and move with us.

Come scream with your hips and cry with your shoulders.

Come home to yourself – one beat at a time.

If this resonates – even a little – take the next step TODAY.

Join us in a VELVET BURLESQUE CLASS – not to perform, but to feel. To breathe. To be.
Whether you’re crawling or strutting through the fog - we’ve got you.
Sheffield-based. All bodies. All backgrounds. All emotions welcome.

Check out our weekly DANCE CLASSES to find your place on the dancefloor.

Dance didn’t cure me, but it always damn well helps to save me.

And it might just help to save you, too.

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: May

Wed, 14 May 2025 00:23:47 GMT

MAY - The Month of the Hen Party Herds, Inflatable Genitalia, and Dance Studio Chaos!

The month of May doesn’t gently tiptoe into your calendar.

May barrels in wearing a tiara, one shoe, a leopard-print sash, and an inflatable penis named Barry.

Almost every weekend from here until late Summer, the dance studio transforms into a vortex of shrieking, prosecco-soaked celebration as hen parties, milestone birthdays, and “she’s just got out of a bad relationship, and this is her era!” bookings fill the timetable.

Hen p arty season is now FULLY FERAL!

Across the land, cities brace themselves as herds of drunk hens descend like glitter-drenched locusts during harvest.

No session is safe.

No timetable sacred.

No nightclub left unscathed.

✨ YOUR ROLE (Whether You Like It Or Not):

Dance Teacher
Cheerleader
Ringmaster
Emotional Support Counsellor
First Aid Provider (for the one who lost her shoes at 11am and has been walking barefoot round the city ever since)
Referee for the passive-aggressive spat between Stacey and Lauren that started in Wetherspoons at 1:40pm

✨ IT’S NOT JUST ONE PARTY - IT'S FOUR. BACK-TO-BACK.

By the time you hit Saturday afternoon:

You've reset the playlist three hundred times.
You're teaching the same burlesque walk for the umpteenth time, with varying degrees of group chaos and commitment.
The glitter is airborne.
Your voice is cracking from enthusiastic shouting over Beyoncé and communal group screeching.

✨ TYPICAL ARRIVAL BREAKDOWN:

They were told to arrive 10 - 15 minutes early.
They show up 12 minutes late in a hot pink cloud of chaos. Matching cowboy hats, tiaras, fake veils, and half-drunk bottles of plonk.
One has already lost their handbag.
Two are mid-argument about whether Lucy did or didn’t say something passive aggressive in the WhatsApp group.
The bride-to-be/birthday girl is sobbing with joy. Or heatstroke.
They all dry-hump each other with the inflatable penis.
Seven of them desperately need yet another wee.
One forgot their emergency bottle of water.
One has shown up in full fishnets and heels and is READY TO SERVE.

They are a walking group chat.

You are now the group admin.

✨ HEN-SPEAK TRANSLATION GUIDE:

"Have you got a toilet?" = Yes. Just one. It's now a therapy booth, wardrobe station, crying corner, and possibly forever haunted.
“We just need a quick wee!” = a minimum of 3 separate bathroom trips every 20 minutes, staggered, like a conga line of cackling and fanny jokes.
“This is gonna be soooo epic!” = someone’s about to try a floor move in 6-inch heels and a sash that says ‘Bride or Die’.
“We’ve had just a few little drinks!” = two bottles of prosecco, one Jägerbomb, and a regrettable cherry sour incident

✨ THE ENERGY IS CONFIDENT vs. CONFUSED vs. WILD!

They're not listening.
They're spinning - a lot.
Someone is recording it (with a full commentary) on Instagram Live.
Someone else has face-planted with an expensive feather fan.
They love it.
They adore you.
They call you a goddess/legend/“the sexy teacher lady” depending on their prosecco levels.

✨ THE COSTUME MOMENT:

There is always a moment when you hand out boas, gloves, corsets, and props, and the collective shriek threatens to take the roof off.

One will wear things as intended.
One will put it all on backwards.
Three will use the feather boa to whip her mate.
All of them yell at least ten decibels higher when you hand out the nipple tassels.
All of them will lose an item you’ve given them within 30 minutes, and yet all within that one room. Gone. Forever!

Feathers everywhere.
Your studio dance floor - unrecognisable.

The toilet area - awash with spilled wine, ripped tights, and an empty vape.
Your sanity? Hanging on with eyelash glue.

✨ BIRTHDAY PARTY EDITION:

Different vibe. Still feral.
More passive-aggressive karaoke energy.
Higher chance of a homemade “This is 40, Bitches!” t-shirt.
Two guests take it VERY seriously.
One stands in the corner holding prosecco and muttering, “This is mad, this.”
There’s always a surprise male attendee, one lady in leopard print who is the life and soul of the party, and someone’s aunt who ends up having the best time of her life after initially refusing to take off her cardi.

✨ THE HEATWAVE HAS ENTERED THE CHAT:

The studio fans? Useless.
The windows? One opens half an inch if you swear at it.
You? Teaching in full-face make-up and hairpiece, while slowly simmering like a sweaty, showgirl stew.
The hens/birthday gaggle? Melting. Loudly. With pink feathers stuck to every surface.

✨ SURVIVAL KIT:

Deodorant and body-spray. For everyone.
An MP3 playlist that can’t be hijacked.
A spare pair of everything.
One glitter-free zone for emotional recovery.
A backup plan for the inflatable that’s popped.
Strong coffee or wine. Possibly both.

✨ OVERHEARD: #TrueStory

“Are we strippers now?! I feel like we’d be good strippers. Let's be strippers”
“Don’t tell Steve I touched that.”
“Oh god, I think I’ve pulled something, but I look sexy, so it’s fine. Another cocktail will sort it.”
"Tracey - don't let me text my ex when I've opened that Baileys later!"
"We should do the classes. Let's all book on the dance class next week. We'll f*cking smash it, girls!"

✨ THE AFTERMATH:

They leave.

A screech of laughter, dropped phone chargers, and a dramatic “BYEEEE!” shouted from the entrance hallway.

They're off to their next conquest - a cocktail-making masterclass (where two will steal the ice bucket for their Air B&B, one will fall off the bar and end up in A&E for the rest of the weekend, and another will ‘befriend’ a questionable bartender named Carl).

You?
You are left … alone.

The silence is DEAFENING.

Your ears are still ringing from 90 minutes of communal 'singing' to “Single Ladies”.
Your knees ache from seven consecutive floor moves you didn’t plan to demonstrate far too many times.
You have lost ten pounds in sweat, dignity, and emotional fortitude.

You sit in the car and disassociate for 45 minutes.

No music.
No movement.

Just staring into the void, letting your brain reboot.

Then eventually … Right. Time to drive to the next studio - the next group booking is in at 6pm!

I love them.

I fear them.

I’m definitely charging "danger money" next season.

Think you could handle this? Or better yet - want to BE the chaos?
✨ BOOK FOR A PARTY SESSION NOW , and unleash your inner legend!

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

The Changing Rooms of Doom!

Thu, 24 Apr 2025 03:30:23 GMT

The Changing Rooms of Doom!

A backstage exposé of the utterly ridiculous places we performers have been asked to get changed - yes, really!

Ah, the glamour of showbiz! The feathers, the rhinestones, the lights, the applause, and, of course, the strong scent of bleach and Dettol wafting from a nearby urinal.

Wait, WHAT?!

Yes, dear reader. Behind the curtain of every glittering burlesque show, cabaret show, circus, comedy or music gig lies a deep, dark truth that every performer knows: the real drama often starts with the dressing room - or complete lack thereof.

Whether it’s a high-profile corporate event, a wedding in a huge marquee, a swanky Michelin Star restaurant, or a last-minute gig, us performers have all had our fair share of “changing room nightmares” that we still laugh, cry, and dry heave about to this day.

Here’s my homage to some of the most dreadful, ridiculous, and downright dangerous places we’ve been asked to get changed.

Strap yourselves in!

�� THE URINAL ODYSSEY:

Nothing says “you’re a star” like wrangling yourself into your fishnets while standing next to a urinal that’s still in use. We’ve pirouetted past dubious puddles, balanced on toilet lids, and contorted ourselves around questionable plumbing.

Glamour? We don’t know her - but we do know the trauma of a rogue automatic flush.

�� BACK OF A VAN - NOT IN THE FUN, ROCK ‘N’ ROLL WAY:

When someone cheerily says, “You can change in the van!”, they rarely mention that it’s filled with cables, old amplifiers, and that unmistakable scent of wet dog and man fart.

Bonus points if the van is moving and you’re shimmying into sequins during a three-point turn, or exiting the M25 at speed.

��️ THE WORKING RESTAURANT KITCHEN:

Hot plates, boiling pans, Chef shouting "SERVICE!" and you, in your safety-thong, trying not to catch fire on the gas hob. The aroma of garlic, sizzling onions, and existential dread hangs in the air as you dodge soup spills and try not to disrobe directly into someone's lasagne.

Five star restaurant on TripAdvisor - zero stars as a dressing room.

�� BUS STOP COUTURE:

Yes, really.

Changing in public at a bus stop, using a feather fan as a modesty shield, while shell-shocked pensioners wait for the 52a to the outskirts of Edinburgh.

Somewhere out there, someone still tells the tale of “that glitter-covered nudie woman” they saw one cold, wet Thursday night.

We’re all legends ... just not in the way we planned.

��️ THE DRENCHED ALLEYWAY OF BROKEN DREAMS:

“You can just pop round the back,” they said.

What they meant was: "Stand in this rubbish-strewn alley next to some overflowing bins, and pray it doesn’t rain."

It rained.

A lot.

Your heels sank into the gravel, your boa turned into a soggy spaghetti of sadness, and the local feral cats judged you silently from the shadows.

��️ UNDER THE VENUE’S STAIRS (AKA THE GOBLIN NOOK):

Crouched like Gollum among brooms and ancient, festering bar mats, you wriggle into your corset while trying not to inhale a decade’s worth of dust and damp. Every time someone walks across the floor above you, it sounds like a stampede of hippos in heels.

Magical.

�� THE FIRE ESCAPE:

Not technically indoors.

Not technically outdoors.

Not remotely safe.

Breezy.

Great if you're performing in nothing but a rhinestoned thong and nipple tassels during a December cold snap ...!

Nothing says ‘artistic expression’ like freezing your t*ts off while a pigeon watches from a railing.

�� A LITERAL CARDBOARD BOX FORT:

Constructed with venue signage, broken chairs, beer crates, and bar mats.

Held together with dreams, duct tape, and desperation.

Bonus level: someone accidentally throws a bin bag on top of you because they think you’re part of the recycling pile.

�� THE PORTA-LOO OF EXISTENTIAL DESPAIR:

A festival classic.

You’re given a glittery wristband and directions to a plastic cube of doom that definitely hasn’t been emptied since the Stone Age.

There’s no mirror, no light, and no hope.

The lock doesn’t work.

You’re balancing on six-inch heels, trying to avoid touching literally anything - your iPhone clenched between your teeth with the torch app on, while holding a feather fan between your knees, and gripping your corset under your chin

The smell? OH GOD!

If hell exists, it’s blue, plastic, and sloshing in p*ss.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS :

Cupboard under the DJ booth (next to the vodka crates)
Inside a two-man tent with no groundsheet (welcome to the jungle)
Venue attic accessed by a broken ladder (hope you like acrobatics!)
Behind the bar, next to the crisps and peanuts (we were the snack AND the show)

SO, WHY DO WE DO IT?

Because we love it.

No, not those changing rooms - HELL, NO!

We live for the applause, the sparkle, the thrill of live performance - even if it comes with a side of asbestos tiles and a suspicious blood stain.

So - next time you watch a show or gig, spare a thought for the possible backstage chaos.

And remember - as a performer - if you ever find yourself getting ready for a performance in a hotel service corridor - all the while, being eyed-up by a lecherous waiter having a quick, illicit vape - you're probably doing true cabaret correctly.

Want more backstage confessions, glitter-fuelled storytelling, and a peek behind the velvet curtain? Subscribe to our newsletter or follow us on our social media channels , and never miss a beat from Velvet Burlesque – where even our dressing room disasters are entertaining!

And, if you fancy coming along to see the glamour from the more fragrant side of a venue, check out where we are performing next via our SHOWS & EVENTS listings!

Here's to the glitter, the grit, and the unidentifiable stains on the wall - that's showbiz, baby!

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque ™

Costume Disasters and Glitter In Places It Shouldn’t Be.

Wed, 23 Apr 2025 19:26:50 GMT

Costume Disasters and Glitter in Places It Shouldn’t Be.

A cautionary tale for those who think burlesque is all feathers and fantasy

They say the show must go on.

But they never said it wouldn’t involve superglue, panic-laced laughter, and a trail of sequins leading straight to the dressing room floor (and the GP’s office).

I’d love to say this post is fictional.
It is not.

✨ CHAPTER 1: GLITTER WHERE?

Look - I’ve accepted by now that glitter has its own sentience.

It gets everywhere. I mean that in the spiritual, emotional, and unfortunately, anatomical sense.

Once, during a particularly glamorous (and heavily glittered) show week, I had many a routine involving an especially sparkly, glitter-covered costume.

Great routine.

Fantastic audiences.

All was well.

Until I went for a very routine gynaecology appointment a few days later.

And I quote the gynaecologist: “Oh! Well that’s … festive!”

I couldn’t even deny it. I just nodded, dead inside, and said: “I work in burlesque.”
She said: “Ah. OK.”

No further questions were asked.

�� CHAPTER 2: The Wig Incident

The routine was beautiful. I was powerful. I was serving glamour, skill, choreography and confidence.
It was working. The audience was right there with me.

And then … the finale.

I reached out with flourish, one arm sweeping across dramatically - and my bracelet caught the edge of my hat’s veil.

In one glorious, slow-motion betrayal, my hat was ripped clean off ... bringing my wig with it.

Five minutes of elegance.
Five seconds of total, public, head-covered-in-a-wig-cap-only humiliation.

The crowd whooped. (Some in laughter, some possibly in horror.)

I bowed. Wigless. Dignified. Possibly a little sweaty.

The number was never quite the same again.

�� CHAPTER 3: Hot Glue, Cold Sweat

Burlesque is 50% performance, 50% knowing how to fix a rhinestoned costume crisis with a glue gun, a safety-pin, a zip-tie, and three minutes to curtain.

I’ve burnt off the ends of false nails. I’ve glued lashes to props. I’ve fused myself to a feather fan in a flat panic.

I’ve met every deadline with caffeine, chaos, and the faint smell of melting plastic.

And you know what?
The audience never knows.

Unless, of course, my jewelled bra unclips mid-routine and flies into the second row like a glitter grenade.

Which has also happened.

�� CHAPTER 4: If You Know, You Know

If you’ve ever had to pin your dignity back into place before going onstage – you’re welcome.

If you’ve ever removed a costume to find glitter, rhinestones, or loose eyelashes in unholy locations - you’re one of us.

If you've ever prayed that your 'safety thong' doesn't creep any further up your foof - I HEAR YOU!

Burlesque isn’t just about looking effortless.
It’s about recovering from a wardrobe disaster with so much confidence, the audience thinks it was part of the act.

And most importantly - it’s about laughing. Loudly. (And probably doing so alongside the audience!)

Glitter-covered-chaos, and probably all duct-taped back together.
Because in this world, the mess is part of the magic.

⬇️Tell me your best costume disaster in the comment box below.

I’ll be over here, supergluing my dignity back together ...

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Why We Don’t Offer Flash Sales At The Last Minute.

Wed, 23 Apr 2025 17:57:10 GMT

Why We Don't Offer FLASH SALES At The Last Minute.

At The Velvet Burlesque , we believe in fairness, value, and integrity.

We often see last-minute ticket price drops or flash sales flying around, (which is totally fine for others, of course), but that’s not our style.

Here’s why:

- We always offer early-bird offers/discounts exclusively to our loyal newsletter subscribers as a thank-you for booking early and supporting us.

- Once tickets go on general sale, the price stays the same.

Why? Because we think it’s unfair for someone who books in advance (sometimes months ahead!) to find out they could have paid less later on. That’s just not how we roll.

- We know the true worth of what we offer - our shows, classes, workshops, and events are crafted with care, experience, and a commitment to high quality. You’re not just buying a ticket - you’re investing in a fantastic experience!

- Our performers are worth it.

- Our show crews are worth it.

- And we believe that what we create is worth every penny.

We don’t do “cheap” - we curate exceptional entertainment and memorable experiences with honest value for money, and we price accordingly.

That said, we also understand that for some, the luxury of a ticket might not always be financially possible. That’s why we fully support the idea of "Pay It Forward". If you’re in a position to purchase or donate an extra ticket, we’ll make sure it goes to someone who might not have been able to attend otherwise, and so, the joy of live entertainment can be shared even further.

Please contact us to discuss this.

So, if you fancy joining us, DO, but please don’t ask for discounts on tickets once they’re on sale. We’ve priced them fairly from the start!

Keep an eye out for those early-bird perks next time via our Mailing List and Newsletters , but please know that when you book, you’re getting real, honest value, EVERY. SINGLE TIME.

Thankyou for your understanding.

�� Fancy a peek at what we’ve got coming up? Our latest show and event listings are just here: SHOWS & EVENTS

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Trust The Process!

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 13:49:20 GMT

Trust The Process!

(Trust Me!)

Feeling stuck in dance class? Struggling with choreography? Thinking you’re the only one who doesn’t get it?

Let me tell you something right now - you are NOT alone! Every single dancer (yes, even my show troupe and advanced students!) has moments where things just don’t click. Some weeks, you’ll fly, and other weeks - tumbleweed. This. Is. Normal.

Let’s break it down:

- Learning isn’t linear! Progress doesn’t happen on a perfect, weekly schedule. Some routines feel great straight away; others take time. That’s just how learning works.

- Chunk by chunk by chunk. First comes the footwork - get the basics into your muscle memory. Then, repeat, repeat, repeat, and slowly, you will add fluidity. And the armography? If the arm movements don’t make sense right now, simply don’t do them! Focus on the feet first. Plenty of people do this.

- EVERYONE asks questions! Timing, weight transitions, turns, walking, “I have no idea what I’m doing!” - It’s why you’re in class - to learn! You are never the only one figuring things out.

- Stop comparing yourself to others! Everyone absorbs choreography at their own pace. Focus on your journey and celebrate the bits you are getting right.

- STOP PUTTING PRESSURE ON YOURSELF!

Here’s the truth: You CAN do this, and you’re probably doing much better than you think!

Relax and enjoy the process, and it will become easier!

So next time you feel frustrated, take a deep breath and remember: TRUST THE PROCESS.

Fancy joining The Velvet Burlesque dance classes and workshops? YOU CAN! Click on the links below for full details:

- DANCE CLASSES

- DANCE WORKSHOPS

I do hope you will join us soon!

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: April

Wed, 16 Apr 2025 03:36:44 GMT

April - The Month of Big Intentions, Admin Purgatory, and Spreadsheet Sorcery.

The new tax year starts.

You swear you'll be better this time.

Accounts will be updated weekly.

Budgets will be strict.

This will be your year for a more streamlined tax system.

Structure.

Strategy.

You last exactly nine days.

You’ve also hyper-focused and launched fifteen new projects all at once, half-written five business expansion proposals, and opened a(nother) new spreadsheet called “2025 Business Masterplan - FINAL FINAL ACTUAL FINAL EDIT (pt.7).”

✨ DELUSIONS OF THE MONTH:

• I’ll just pop my receipts in this carefully labelled folder. (They end up in the glovebox.)

• I’ll post once a day in April! (You post four times in 48 hours, then randomly upload from there on in.)

• I’ll schedule a whole email campaign. (You send it. It has a teeny tiny typo. You spiral.)

• I’ll just set a medium-range ad budget. (Facebook laughs in algorithm.)

• I definitely saved the updated insurance terms and conditions. (PC laughs in search bar silence)

• I don’t need to take on more work this month. (But you still do.)

✨ YOU MAY EXPERIENCE:

• An obsession with new photo-editing software.

• Random budget spreadsheets appearing in your dreams.

• Late-night pricing and budget panic.

• Getting excited about new website builder tools.

✨ POWER SURVIVAL TOOLS:

• A good notebook and a four-colour pen.

• Strong coffee.

• A folder called “To-Do”.

• A back-up ritual involving incense and repeated logging into your accounts software.

✨ BOSS LADY WISDOM:

You can’t budget your way out of April accounts chaos, but you can colour-code it.

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque ™

Why "Next Time" Might Be Too Late.

Wed, 16 Apr 2025 00:48:41 GMT

Why "Next Time" Might Be Too Late.

An honest and heartfelt message to burlesque and cabaret's wonderful fans and followers, but especially those who keep meaning to come to a show, but didn’t, or still don't.

We hear it so often:

“Oh, I’d LOVE to come - I’ll catch the show next time!”

“This looks incredible, but I’ll wait until the next one.”

“Keep me posted if you do it again!”

HERE’S THE TRUTH: SOMETIMES, THERE WON’T BE A NEXT TIME.

Not because we don’t want to do it again.

Not because it wasn’t brilliant.

But because enough people didn’t show up to make another show possible.

Across the UK, grassroots, independent, artist-led shows are folding.

Venues are shutting their doors.

Creators are burning out.

Not because they lack talent, but because they’re running on empty while trying to compete with corporate-funded productions that can afford massive ad campaigns and PR teams - big corporate-backed shows that are quick to jump on the burlesque and cabaret bandwagon. While these types of shows might boost genre visibility (which is great!), those productions are backed by huge marketing budgets and trend-driven hype. They’ll simply move on to the next trend once they’ve milked this one dry!

But the soul? The passion? The independent artists who built this scene from scratch?

That lives in independent, grassroots, artist-led shows.

And those are the shows that need you - the loyal, curious, adventurous audience - to show up now more than ever.

Those big, corporate 'cookie-cutter' shows might seem extra-dazzling (mostly only in their advertising, not their actual physical content!), but many of them jumped into burlesque and cabaret simply because it was trendy at the time they were looking for something else to bring the big bucks in! THEY’RE PROFIT-FIRST, PASSION-SECOND, and when the next shiny thing comes along, they’ll move on to that!

We won’t, because we live and breathe this artform!

Independent shows like The Velvet Burlesque aren’t backed by big budgets or corporate sponsors. They are built on creative risk, self-financing, months of unpaid work, and a huuuuuuge leap of faith that enough people will turn up to make it worthwhile.

So, when you say, “I’ll come next time,” what you may not realise is that YOUR TICKET THIS TIME could have been the difference between a show breaking even or taking a loss. Between the lights going up again - or not.

Live, independent shows cannot thrive without real, committed audience support.

Ways you can help:

- Book the ticket (and book it early, so that producers know there is interest and support!).

- Bring a friend.

- Come on your own!

- Tell someone - word of mouth, share social media posts or physical show flyers you see.

Your presence and your support - however you do it - has power, and your choice matters.

- Your physical presence at the event definitely keeps these shows alive.

- Your online presence, sharing posts to spread the word, plus liking and commenting on posts also helps keep these shows alive.

It gives purpose and possibility to the hundreds of hours spent creating what you see on stage.

Every single person who chooses to buy an independent show ticket helps sustain the artists, crew, producers, and venues who pour their hearts and soul into this industry.

If you love what we do, we need you to show up. That’s the only way we can keep going.

- Every seat filled helps us create more of those unforgettable moments.

- Every ticket bought helps pay performers, tech crew, venue staff.

- Every ticket bought helps keep the lights on and the curtain rising.

This isn’t a plea. It’s a heartfelt reminder that the shows you love only exist if people like you do come. And if you want independent, heartfelt, creative, powerful shows to stay part of the scene - you have to support them now - TODAY, not someday.

So if you've ever said, “That looks amazing, I’ll come next time” - please make the time you choose to be there THIS TIME.

Be part of the magic, not just a spectator from the sidelines.

Don't leave it until it's too late!

Please be a genuine, willing part of keeping the magic alive.

�� Want to join us for a spectacular night out? Our latest show and event listings can be found here: SHOWS & EVENTS

With thanks, and deep gratitude - always -

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque ™

What to Expect at a Burlesque, Cabaret & Circus Show | UK Variety Nightlife Guide

Fri, 04 Apr 2025 01:31:51 GMT

New to burlesque or cabaret?

Discover what really happens at a burlesque, cabaret, & circus show - from sequins and sass to jaw-dropping variety acts.

A guide by The Velvet Burlesque.

✨ SO, YOU’VE BOOKED YOUR FIRST BURLESQUE & CABARET SHOW TICKET … NOW WHAT?

Stepping into the world of burlesque, cabaret, and circus for the first time is like opening a velvet curtain into a realm of glitter, chaos, and artistry. If you’ve never been before, you might be wondering: What exactly am I in for?

Fear not, curious adventurer - BOSS LADY has you covered. Here’s everything you can expect when the lights go down, the curtain rises, and the magic of a Velvet Burlesque show begins.

✨ A FEAST FOR THE EYES (AND EARS)!

Think glitter that catches the light like stardust, sequins that shimmer with every movement, rhinestones sparkling from corsets and gowns, feather fans unfurling like exotic wings, aerialists swinging high above the stage, fire that crackles with danger, nipple tassels twirling with mischief, and comedy sharp enough to make you cry with laughter. Add powerhouse live vocals that raise the roof, and circus skills so jaw-dropping you’ll wonder if gravity and health & safety have taken the night off - all of it woven into one intoxicating, unique evening of spectacle.

Burlesque isn’t just about striptease (although, yes, there’s artful tease and cheeky reveals aplenty). At its heart, burlesque is about storytelling - using glamour, humour, politics, satire, sensuality, and theatricality to tell tales that are bold, playful, and unapologetically unique. Every performer brings their own flair, whether it’s dazzling costume artistry, sly comic timing, or raw emotional presence.

Now add cabaret’s cheeky songs and razor-sharp comedy, mix in the charisma of music, theatre, and dance, and layer it with circus artistry that seems to defy the laws of physics. From aerial silks and hoops spiralling toward the ceiling, to jugglers, acrobats, knife-throwers, sword-swallowers, and fire-breathers pushing the boundaries of danger and delight - you’re looking at a stage show that keeps you hooked, guessing, and cheering from the very first spotlight to the last encore.

✨ VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF CABARET.

Unlike traditional theatre, a burlesque & cabaret show isn’t one long play with a single storyline - it’s a kaleidoscope of entertainment, a variety line-up designed to keep you on the very edge of your seat.

Every act brings something completely different: one moment you’re doubled over with laughter at a smutty song, the next you’re holding your breath as an aerial performer spins, twirls, and drops right in front of your eyes. Then, just as your pulse steadies, but before you’ve even caught your breath, you’re swept into a sultry burlesque number dripping with drama and unforgettable style.

This ever-changing rhythm is the beating heart of cabaret. It’s unpredictable, eclectic, and gloriously chaotic - a heady mix of glamour, danger, satire, mayhem, music, skills, striptease, and raw power - all stitched together with velvet thread. You’ll never quite know what’s coming next - and that’s exactly the point.

It’s a high-speed rollercoaster of spectacle and emotion, an intoxicating cocktail of entertainment where every sip tastes different, but every delicious drop leaves you wanting more!

It’s a living, breathing, lucky dip of entertainment where the only guarantee is that you’ll leave grinning, gobsmacked, or both! Variety isn’t just the spice here - it’s the whole banquet!

✨ AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION (BUT NOT THE SCARY KIND)!

Burlesque, cabaret, and circus isn’t about sitting quietly in the dark - it thrives on breaking the fourth wall and pulling you into the atmosphere.

The performers don’t just perform at you; they perform with you.

Expect cheeky banter, playful glances, and the occasional moment where a performer might single you out for a laugh, a wink, or a flirt. You might even find yourself the punchline of a joke, the target of a saucy serenade, or the recipient of a feather fan flourish.

But don’t panic - it’s never cruel or uncomfortable! Cabaret is about celebration, not humiliation. The goal is always to make you feel like part of the fun, and to give you a memory you’ll be talking about long after the final curtain call.

Here’s the golden rule: the more you give, the more you get. Clap until your hands sting, cheer until your throat’s raw, whistle, stomp, and whoop like you mean it. Every ounce of energy you throw towards the stage is reflected right back at you, only bigger and brighter.

Think of it as a glorious two-way love affair between stage and audience - a conversation carried out in applause, laughter, and delighted voices. Your reactions don’t just encourage the performers - they help shape the show itself.

✨ EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED!

Don’t be fooled into thinking it’s all sequins and satin, or that it’s anything like that glossy Hollywood film and musical; "Burlesque" (yes, the one with Christina Aguilera and Cher belting it out on stage) ... Cabaret is a mischievous creature, and with it comes the kind of surprises you couldn’t script if you tried.

And the best part? You’ll never quite know what combination of marvels is waiting for you on any given night!

The only way to truly understand it is to buy a ticket and experience an actual, real-life, authentic , grassroots burlesque and cabaret show for yourself.

Here’s the truth: if you came looking for predictable, you booked the wrong ticket! The Velvet Burlesque shows don’t play safe - they play spectacular!

✨ A SAFE, INCLUSIVE SPACE.

At its heart, burlesque, cabaret, and circus are about freedom. Freedom to express, to play, to shine in ways some of the mainstream stages (and musicals!) don’t always allow.

You won’t just see one body type, one gender, or one way of being fabulous - you’ll see a dazzling spectrum of humans who bring their own truth, power, and sparkle to the spotlight. That’s not a side note; it’s the whole point. These shows are a celebration of individuality, where difference isn’t just accepted, it’s adored.

Newcomers to veterans, 20-somethings to trailblazers, legends, and drag royalty who’ve been dazzling for decades - every stage of adult life shines here.

Any culture, ethnicity, sexuality, trans or non-binary brilliance, neurodivergent minds, every background, every faith (or none), curves, muscular strength or slim silhouettes, petite or statuesque, scars, disabilities, and those with access needs - everything and everyone has a place on our stage, and everything and everyone belongs in our audience too.

Every human on stage and off deserves respect. Celebrate loudly, but remember: consent isn’t just sexy, it’s compulsory.

So come exactly as you are. Throw on sequins if it delights you, or show up in jeans if that feels right. In this space, you’re not judged by what you wear, who you love, or how you move - you’re welcomed for bringing your whole, true self to the party.

Burlesque, cabaret, and circus have always thrived on being rebellious, subversive, and proudly outside the box. When you step into The Velvet Burlesque, you’re stepping into a community - a tribe - that doesn’t just tolerate difference - it roars with joy for it.

✨ YOU’LL WANT TO COME BACK!

First-time audiences always leave saying: “When’s the next one?” And honestly, who can blame them!

Burlesque, cabaret, and circus aren’t just shows - they’re experiences that get under your skin in the best possible way. They are addictive!

The thrill isn’t just what you see on stage, it’s also the atmosphere in the room: the electric buzz of the audience, the shared laughter and song, the wild applause, and the excited feeling that you’ve just witnessed something utterly spectacular.

No two Velvet Burlesque shows are ever the same, and that’s the secret. You’ll want to come back, because once you’ve seen one, you'll be hooked, and you’ll be desperate to know what happens at the next!

✨ READY TO EXPERIENCE IT FOR YOURSELF?

Whether it’s your first show or your fiftieth, book your next unforgettable night out here: THE VELVET BURLESQUE - SHOWS & EVENTS

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

IT'S SHOWTIME!

Thu, 03 Apr 2025 01:06:45 GMT

IT'S SHOWTIME!

Why David Lee Roth’s “It’s Showtime!” is the anthem of every Velvet Burlesque curtain rise, and what it means backstage and within the audience.

Every single Velvet Burlesque show begins the same way - the clock strikes the hour, and David Lee Roth’s "It’s Showtime! " blasts through the speakers.

It’s loud.

It’s electric.

It’s tradition.

And as that familiar riff kicks in, EVERYBODY knows IT'S SHOWTIME!

For me; months - literal months - of careful planning goes into each and every public, corporate, or private event I produce. There’s always a full whirlwind of shows, productions, projects, workshops, classes, and mentoring spinning at once!

Deadlines loom.

To-do lists lengthen.

Emails flood in.

Late nights roll into early mornings spent working at the PC, with very little downtime in between.
There are rehearsals, logistics, scheduling nightmares, endless emails, phone calls, national and international bookings, train and plane journeys (and the inevitable cancellations!), missing luggage, costuming chaos, marketing marathons for multiple events at the same time, ticket sales, customer service, licence applications, insurance headaches, herding cats, wrangling performers, glitter explosions, and the occasional existential crisis ...

And before you know it - fuelled by caffeine, determination, and sheer bloody-mindedness - the magic happens.

Because when the velvet curtain rises - ready or not - IT'S SHOWTIME!

✨ WHY "IT'S SHOWTIME!"?

I’ve always loved David Lee Roth’s music - the energy, the swagger, the absolute commitment to putting on a show. He's an incredible entertainer!

Being part of the madness of showbiz myself for decades, “It’s Showtime!” didn’t just sound good - it sang straight to my soul.

Every lyric, every guitar riff captures that cocktail of nerves, adrenaline, and sheer bloody determination it takes to walk out onto a stage and say, “Right - let’s give them a night they’ll never forget!”

That track became more than a hype song - it became a promise to myself.

A declaration that no matter what chaos happened in the production process or backstage, no matter how many last-minute disasters or wardrobe malfunctions - when it’s time, we show up.

We deliver.
We shine.

And so now, every time those first notes kick in before a Velvet Burlesque show, it’s a reminder to all of us - performers, crew, and audience alike - that this is it.

This is our moment.

IT'S SHOWTIME!

✨ IT'S MORE THAN JUST A SONG:

Over the years, “It’s Showtime!” has become a secret handshake between everyone who’s ever been part of a Velvet Burlesque production or sat in the audience.
It’s our pre-show battle cry!
It’s the official signal that everything we've all worked so hard for in this career is about to come alive again each time we do this.

And honestly? I still get goosebumps when I hear it - every. single. time.

✨ WHAT IT MEANS BACKSTAGE:

When that song starts, the message is loud and clear:

It’s time to turn on the show-face
It’s time to trust the process
LET'S F*CKING GO!

Performers grab their props and hustle into the wings - each doing final checks of their costumes.

The stage crew get into position. Headsets in place - fingers on switches.

The mic goes live.

I give one last “we’ve got this!” nod from the wings.
One final adrenaline-fuelled exhale before the manic few hours of live theatre madness begins.

And out front?
The audience starts to buzz.
They hear it too, and they know the magic is about to begin.

It’s all worth it when that first cheer erupts from the crowd as the first few bars of music hits them.

HERE WE GO!

✨ WANT TO FEEL THE SHOWTIME MAGIC TOO?!

Experience the full chaos, glamour, and glittery madness LIVE - grab your tickets to our next Velvet Burlesque show now: Visit Our Shows & Events Listings

And when you hear “It’s Showtime!” blaring across the theatre, you’ll know you’re about to witness something absolutely bloody spectacular!

ENJOY!

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

Who Is The "BOSS LADY"?!

Wed, 02 Apr 2025 01:46:58 GMT

Who Is the BOSS LADY?!

Yep – That’s Me, Lara Gothique!

All hail the (young) BOSS LADY from waaaay back in the 90's!

(Fishnets and big boots are still a thing now, too!)

Right then, let’s get this glitterball rolling - for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Lara Gothique, founder of The Velvet Burlesque, international choreographer, performer, teacher, producer, and self-confessed Swamp-Witch. I’ve been dancing and performing since I was knee-high to a grasshopper (yes, really), and I’ve never looked back - just hot-fixed more rhinestones on, gotten louder, stronger, and more confident about it.

Back in 1991, as the end of my teenage education years loomed, I knew that I didn't want to be forced into a desk job, or, to quote a family friend - 'something more suitable for a young lady'. I had always had this wild idea to take the risk and turn my lifelong love for dance, music, theatre, and all things flamboyant into a full-blown business. My (very prudish) Sixth-Form Headmaster was horrified that I had plans to be an exotic dancer and showgirl, alongside teaching dance and fitness - he sat me down in his office, told me loudly and repeatedly to get a “proper job”, and snorted that my 'little, ill-advised venture' wouldn’t last the year anyhow, and that my reputation as an already serious and established dancer would be in tatters.

WELL ...

On the 1st of September 1991 - I hit the ground running!

Here we are – nearly three and a half decades later – I'm still dancing, performing and teaching. I made a bloody good career out of my dreams, and The Velvet Burlesque is one of the biggest, boldest, and longest-running burlesque and cabaret businesses in the UK.

I’ve travelled across the world and dazzled countless audiences, taught in schools and higher education premises, prisons, and government offices, produced shows and events for royalty, and made speeches in various imposing conference halls.

I've danced (and taken my clothes off!) in clubs, bars, theatres, music halls, tents in deserts, articulated trucks, marquees, hotels, strip clubs, nightclubs, private venues, bingo halls, barns, ballrooms, basements, back gardens, boudoirs, breweries, bathhouses, boats, boxing rings, bus shelters (seriously!), cabaret dens, catwalks, castles, crypts, circus rings, conference centres, converted warehouses, community halls, discos, dining rooms, dodgy hotel rooms, empty swimming pools, festivals, film sets, function rooms, ferries, garages, gentlemen’s clubs, grand staircases, gyms, haunted pubs, hotel lobbies, libraries, live music venues, lounges, museums, open fields, opera houses, old cinemas, penthouses, palaces, rehearsal studios, rooftops, roller rinks, shopping centres, speakeasies, stately homes, tattoo parlours, warehouses, wedding venues, wrestling rings, yachts, and once - a moving float in a parade (don’t ask about the wind and the rain that day!).

I've also helped many thousands of glorious humans to shimmy, slut-drop, grapevine, kickbox, bicep curl, and plank their way to confidence, connection, fitness, shows, stages, and a damn good time!

✨ DANCE IS MY MAGIC:

Choreography and performance have always been my happy place - it’s how I tell stories, how I communicate, and quite frankly, how I keep my sanity. I created The Velvet Burlesque to share that magic with others.

Through my classes and workshops, I help people celebrate the skin they’re in, rediscover their self-confidence, self-worth, and embrace all the messy, marvellous bits of themselves.

Whether you're a total beginner or someone with a back catalogue of jazz hands, you’re welcome. Just bring your sparkle (real or metaphorical), or if you've lost it - I'll help you find it again!

✨ FITNESS WITH FLAIR (AND ZERO JUDGEMENT):

I’ve also been a fully qualified fitness teacher and personal trainer since 1991, so yes, I’ve been helping people squat, crunch, press, and swear through workouts since shoulder pads were still a thing.

I don’t just care about how you move, I care about why you move, and how you feel while doing it.

With well over 30 years of training, study, and hands-on client experience, my specialities are:

Post-op rehabilitation (including but not limited to: heart surgery, back surgery, hernia, hip/knee replacements, mastectomy, bone injury, road accidents, etc.)
Pre & post-natal fitness (including Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction [SPD], post-C-section, etc.)
Dealing with chronic conditions & long-term illness/injury
Sports injuries
General day-to-day injury/illness rehabilitation (eg: falls, sprains, back pain, sciatica, arthritis, general wear & tear, etc.)
Dealing with peri-menopausal/menopausal issues and changes
Additional in-depth personalised programmes and support is also available

I regularly work with referrals from GPs, consultants, physiotherapists, chiropractors, and midwives, offering safe, supportive, and inclusive sessions for a wide range of needs.

I work with all ages, genders, shapes, sizes, and ability levels - from full-on fitness fiends to those recovering from injury, illness, surgery, or those just starting their movement journey.

Every programme I offer is personalised, inclusive, and above all, kind to your body.

(Unless you count those bloody awful Bulgarian Split Squats!)

✨ EVERYONE IS WELCOME - ALWAYS:

(Unless you're a "Mean Girl" ... definitely no Mean Girls allowed!)

My classes and workshops are open to everyone (aged 18+ for dance) - all genders, ethnicities, body types, backgrounds, and energy levels. The Velvet Burlesque isn’t just about movement - it’s about community, support, laughter, and finding your tribe.

And yes, we are very good at welcoming nervous newbies. You’ll come in shy, and leave with a strut.

✨ MEET "HELLS BELLE" - MY AMAZONIAN ALTER EGO!

On stage, I become "Hells Belle" – a formidable Showgirl Glamazon with a reputation for commanding presence, killer costumes, and incredibly fast nipple-tassels! Think old-school glamour meets gothic ferocity, and then add a touch of danger, because honestly, this bitch bites if you pull her tail.

The name? That’s a nod to one of my favourite bands of all time - the mighty AC/DC.

Their track "Hells Bells" absolutely thunders with drama, power, and attitude, so naturally, it became the inspiration for my onstage persona.
Loud, proud, and impossible to ignore? Sounds about right.

I’ve performed internationally, and all over the UK, bringing all kinds of shows and events to life - from exotic clubs, classic burlesque stages, gogo podiums, to dark fantasy, horror, fetish, historical themed events and beyond. I’ve even thrown in a bit of stunt horse-riding and motorbike madness over the years (because apparently I just don’t know how to sit still).

If you’ve got a crazy idea, or want something bespoke for your event, just ask! I’m always up for creating something new and unforgettable.

Some lovely (and slightly cheeky) testimonials for "Hells Belle":

“An hourglass figure, with the sand in all the right places.” – Mister Meredith
“A Victorian Gothic masterpiece … fitting into the surroundings perfectly.” – 21stCenturyBurlesque.com
“The fastest tassels in the North!” – Feline Productions
“Her onstage persona is large, vibrant, and confident... there ain’t nothing like a pro.” – Allie J Carr

I’m not here to be subtle. I’m here to make you feel something, whether it’s awe, joy, or the sudden urge to go home and put on heavy make-up, high heels, and fishnets in my honour.

✨ BEHIND THE SCENES: WELLIES, DOGS, CATS, & PERFECT SWAMP-WITCHERY:

When the spotlight dims and the dancing shoes come off, I turn into a full-blown, welly-wearing hermit. I live on a farm in a gloriously rural area of North Sheffield with my husband, The Viking, a landscape gardener.

I genuinely love nothing more than muddy boots, sunny days, and wandering around the woodland and moors with my majestic Great Danes, whispering choreography to the trees while the wind decides if my fringe is coming along for the ride too.

I’m also frequently surrounded by cats - some are spoiled house cats, and some are feral rescues that I've trapped, neutered and released again here. I swear they’re running some sort of feline underground network - the word is clearly out about the 24/7 cat food buffet - new buggers keep turning up! I suspect there’s a feline WhatsApp group.

(And yes, I'll save the story about the trapped feral cat who bit through my boob for another time ...!)

Add to that our ever-rotating cast of poultry, the occasional herd of goats, and a past filled with horses and reptiles - it’s basically a glittery Noah’s Ark, but with slightly more eyeliner.

I’m a total nature-lover at heart. Give me the sound of birds and other wildlife over traffic any day. That’s where I find my peace, and where I remind myself that the woman who makes the magic also needs time to recharge.

That said, while I may be a rural hermit in my downtime, make no mistake - I rarely sit still! As my close friends will tell you, I always have at least 37 swirling brain tabs open , usually involving several new choreography pieces, evolving show concepts, a huge admin to-do list (because self-employment/owning a business = no bloody end to the admin!), and random business ideas I decide to start Google-ing and planning at 4am when the insomnia inspiration hits. (And of course, a last-minute online panic shop for a crucial prop replacement needed for this weekend’s event, because, naturally, the original one fell apart dramatically at the end of the last show's pack-down. Glitter explosion included.)

I started this business in an era of VHS tapes, paper flyers/posters, and word-of-mouth. Now I’m juggling SEO algorithms, livestreams, and sodding Instagram Reels. If the stage teaches you anything, it’s that you have to adapt - constantly. Trends shift, tech evolves, clients and audience habits change, and while you don’t need to sell your soul to every new craze, you do need to keep moving whenever the spotlight does.

What a lot of people don’t see is that I’ve built this life and business through more than just sequins and show-face. I live with various frustrating and painful chronic health conditions, and I’ve faced some terrible personal losses, including six devastating miscarriages, survived domestic violence, rape, and death threats. Experiences that absolutely knocked me off my feet - shook me - shaped me, but also made me fiercer, more focused, and even more determined to carve out joy, connection, and meaning wherever I can.

So when I say, “Trust The Process!” I mean it.
Because I’ve danced through some very (very) dark days, and thankfully found some light on the other side.

This chaotic showbiz life vs. the grounded life - part Glamazon - part Swamp-Witch - keeps me real. It’s where the costumes get packed away, the lashes come off, and I reconnect with the messy, muddy, magical version of myself.

After nearly 35 years of business in this wild world of feathers and footlights , I’ve met and worked with some incredible people, been part of some spectacular events and opportunities, overcome so many challenges for myself and my business, and proved that yes - you can make a career out of shaking your bits, and yelling instructions at people!

So that’s me - Boss Lady - Lara Gothique - Hells Belle - Swamp-Witch - (Slightly Feral) Founder of The Velvet Burlesque. Proud producer, consummate performer, passionate teacher, trustworthy mentor, professional idiot, and the kind of woman you can ask to milk a goat if you need her to (honestly!).

Often imitated - never surpassed.

Come along sometime.

Click the links.

We’ll make some magic together!

L.x.

�� Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

The Velvet Burlesque Blog … Can You Hear Me At The Back?!

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 00:17:23 GMT

The Velvet Burlesque Blog …

Can you hear me at the back?!

Welcome to the official blog of The Velvet Burlesque - proudly curated, produced, choreographed, wrangled, and occasionally dragged kicking and screaming into existence by me, Lara Gothique - aka BOSS LADY.

If you’ve ever wondered what really happens behind the velvet curtain, this is the place. Expect tales from the stage, backstage truths and gossip, showbiz sparkle, tips and tricks of the trade, serious conversations, and the occasional scream into the void.

The Velvet Burlesque is proudly rooted in the spectacular world of showbiz - a full-throttle, high-kicking, multi-tasking burlesque and cabaret-based circus of unbridled creativity, and a beautifully chaotic love affair with live performance.

This isn’t just a blog - it’s a megaphone from the wings. It’s the voice that shouts over the music when the mic cuts out. It’s the glitter-covered truth from someone who’s lived it, loved it, and probably hot-glued and safety-pinned it back together in a blind panic at 3am.

What to Expect from This Blog:

Behind the Scenes of the Entertainment Industry - the unfiltered chaos, smoke and mirrors you don’t see from the audience
Things You Might Not Know About the Industry - myths, realities, and the bits nobody talks about
Boss Lady Rants & Reflections - running a one-woman showbiz circus is not for the faint-hearted
Backstage Banter - the truth behind rehearsals, rituals, and the inevitable prop-malfunction
Performance Prep & Pep Talks - because “Trust the Process” really does work
Audience Advice - how to get the most out of your night with us
Boss Lady’s Almanac - monthly musings and mischief

Whether you’re a member of our classes, a show audience regular, a wide-eyed newbie, simply stumbled on our website via a random Google search, or just someone who simply likes a bit of razzle-dazzle with their reality - I see you - welcome to the madness.

Get comfy.

You belong here.

✨Get Involved! Yes, YOU!

Drop me a comment below, or send a message via our Contact page to let me know what topics you'd like me to ramble on about!

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Performer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque ™

The Velvet Burlesque Backstage Blog ... Can you hear me at the back?!

International Women’s Day - Strength, Freedom & Sisterhood | Lara Gothique - The Velvet Burlesque

Lara Gothique reflects on freedom, sisterhood, courage, and choosing your own life path in this powerful International Women’s Day message from The Velvet Burlesque ™ .

Show Performer Applications | The Velvet Burlesque

Performer applications are open with The Velvet Burlesque.

We welcome UK and international burlesque, cabaret, circus, comedy, vaudeville, and variety performers.

Apply now to perform with our multi-award-winning company and become part of one of the UK’s most spectacular burlesque and cabaret shows!

We invite exceptional burlesque, cabaret, circus, comedy, vaudeville, and variety performers to apply to perform with us.

Whether you’re an experienced professional or an emerging artist ready to shine, we want to hear from you!

Why Experience & Trust Matters in Teaching Dance & Fitness - Lessons from 35+ Years of Teaching at The Velvet Burlesque

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: October

Halloween burlesque and cabaret shows mean devils, witches, voodoo chaos, gothic weirdness, fake blood disasters, and the Boss Lady hanging in there by the skin of her teeth!

HALLOWEEN SHOWS ARE NOT FOR THE WEAK!

THE BEAUTIFUL, FILTHY REALITY:

BOSS LADY WISDOM:

ENTER THE DARKNESS!

The Velvet Burlesque YouTube Channel - Watch Past Shows, Routines, and Cabaret Magic!

Discover the Velvet Burlesque YouTube channel - packed with past performances, behind-the-scenes moments, backstage mischief, and iconic show highlights.

Curated personally by the BOSS LADY herself, Lara Gothique.

Why Refining Your Dance Routine Matters: Turning Choreography into Artistry

Why Refining Your Dance Routine Matters: Turning Choreography into Artistry

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: September

��️ September - the month where everyone’s moaning about the weather, and Producers are drowning in Halloween booking requests, whilst hunting for a gorelesque clown, and a sparkly rabbit on stilts who can hand-balance!

THE GREAT BRITISH SEASONAL WHINGE!

BOSS LADY WISDOM:

Beginner’s Guide to Choosing Dance Shoes | Velvet Burlesque

Choosing the right shoes is key to your dance journey. ﻿ This Velvet Burlesque guide covers the best beginner footwear, shoe care hacks, and what to avoid.

�� CALLING DANCE SHOE BRANDS: COLLABORATE WITH VELVET BURLESQUE TO PUT YOUR FOOTWEAR IN THE SPOTLIGHT!

Building Backstage Bonds - The Power of Performer Camaraderie

Building Backstage Bonds:

﻿ Why Backstage Camaraderie Matters More Than You Think

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: August

�� AUGUST - The Heatwave of Delusion ﻿

YES - I KNOW IT’S BLOODY HOT!

Dance Teacher Lies: The Truth Behind the Glitter

Think your dance teacher’s being honest?

Think again!

From “one more time” to “this is easy” - here’s the truth behind the lies.

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: July

JULY - The Mid-Year Mirrorball Moment

What to Look For in a Dance or Fitness Teacher - Safety, Experience & Professionalism

Why a qualified, professional, insured, and experienced teacher matters for your safety and success.

Why Music And Movement Are The Lifeblood of The Velvet Burlesque.

Discover how music and movement unlock emotion, spark powerful transformation, and why they’re at the heart of everything we do at The Velvet Burlesque.

The Unseen Chaos of the Post-Show Packdown Battle!

Welcome to the backstage world of post-event pack-downs and load-outs! (Usually in the p*ssing rain!)

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: June

JUNE - The month of Midsummer Madness

No one else knows what the hell is going on, so no one can help.

Dance Saved My Sanity. Movement as a Mental Health Lifeline

The Real, Raw Power of Moving Through the Madness.

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: May

MAY - The Month of the Hen Party Herds, Inflatable Genitalia, and Dance Studio Chaos!

✨ TYPICAL ARRIVAL BREAKDOWN:

✨ THE HEATWAVE HAS ENTERED THE CHAT:

The Changing Rooms of Doom!

The Changing Rooms of Doom!

A backstage exposé of the utterly ridiculous places we performers have been asked to get changed - yes, really!

�� THE URINAL ODYSSEY:

�� BACK OF A VAN - NOT IN THE FUN, ROCK ‘N’ ROLL WAY:

��️ THE WORKING RESTAURANT KITCHEN:

�� BUS STOP COUTURE:

��️ THE DRENCHED ALLEYWAY OF BROKEN DREAMS:

��️ UNDER THE VENUE’S STAIRS (AKA THE GOBLIN NOOK):

�� A LITERAL CARDBOARD BOX FORT:

�� THE PORTA-LOO OF EXISTENTIAL DESPAIR:

SO, WHY DO WE DO IT?

Costume Disasters and Glitter In Places It Shouldn’t Be.

Costume Disasters and Glitter in Places It Shouldn’t Be.

A cautionary tale for those who think burlesque is all feathers and fantasy

Why We Don’t Offer Flash Sales At The Last Minute.

Why We Don't Offer FLASH SALES At The Last Minute.

Trust The Process!

Trust The Process!

﻿ (Trust Me!)

Boss Lady’s Almanac of Showbiz Survival: April

April - The Month of Big Intentions, Admin Purgatory, and Spreadsheet Sorcery.

Why "Next Time" Might Be Too Late.

Why "Next Time" Might Be Too Late.

What to Expect at a Burlesque, Cabaret & Circus Show | UK Variety Nightlife Guide

Choosing the right shoes is key to your dance journey. This Velvet Burlesque guide covers the best beginner footwear, shoe care hacks, and what to avoid.

Why Backstage Camaraderie Matters More Than You Think

�� AUGUST - The Heatwave of Delusion

(Trust Me!)

Discover what really happens at a burlesque, cabaret, & circus show - from sequins and sass to jaw-dropping variety acts.

Yep – That’s Me, Lara Gothique!