✨  THE GLAMOUR AFTERMATH: WHAT REALLY HAPPENS POST-SHOW

So you think the curtain call is the end? Oh no, it's only halfway through!

The audience has cheered, the curtain has closed, and the glitter has settled into every nook and cranny, but for us backstage - the night is far from over.

It's not glamorous. It's not particularly fun. But it’s as much a part of the magic as the spotlight and rhinestones.

This is a peek behind the sequin-strewn curtain at what really happens once the theatre lights dim and the audience members stumble home with stars in their eyes (and at least one lost phone wedged between the seats on Row G).

✨  PACK DOWN PANDEMONIUM

Packing down a full burlesque and cabaret show is a physically demanding ritual of its own:

• Dragging props, set pieces, and sorting emergency toolkits back into their specific cases. (Because heaven forbid anyone loses that 10mm spanner!)
• Carefully loading sound and lighting equipment back into flight cases with the care of a heart surgeon, because one wrong jolt, and the rig goes rogue.
• Discovering that zip-ties have mysteriously multiplied in your absence, but none of them match the sizes you need now.
• Wrestling with poly-boxes that used to close, but now laugh at your optimism.
• Folding costumes with a whisper of hope they’ll survive another round.
• Sorting through your costume underwear/fishnets to wash in the sink at the hotel later.
• Hunting through dressing rooms for rogue eyelashes, wigs, and the ever-mysterious missing shoe. (Every damn show!)

It takes hours.

And no matter how smooth the show went, this part will always involve someone (ie: ME!) getting a phone-call from either a performer (who is already 50miles away down the M1) or an audience member saying they've lost a sequin-covered thigh harness or a handbag somewhere deep in the haze of the theatre.

✨  VAN LOADING, RANDOM DRUNKS, AND 3:30am FOOD QUESTS

Once the venue is cleared, it's time to load the van(s) - usually in the rain, in the dark, navigating numerous fire-exit steps, and with some random drunk guy who keeps mooching around trying to talk to you whilst (bizarrely!) holding a mannequin leg. All the while, a Security Guard watches on - constantly asking you how much longer you'll think it will take, whilst not even stepping aside to let you lug a huge motorised carousel pony prop through a part-open doorway.

It’s some form of magical van-packing Tetris.

Eventually, you locate the only food place still open and selling something vaguely edible at nearly 4am.

You and your Stage Manager sit in the van, surrounded by glitter, props, empty water bottles, and take-out wrappers - dissociating quietly, whilst each holding a lukewarm burger.

*A bonus find is a 24hr ASDA or TESCO (*other superstores are available), where you will proceed to buy ALL the snacks in a post-show food frenzy, and a random pair of flip-flops, despite you not having a holiday planned.

✨  HOME (OR HOTEL): THE HOLY LAND OF THE BED

Whether it’s a budget hotel, or your own sweet, sweet mattress - that moment you finally peel off your clothes and sink into horizontal bliss is blooming holy.

But first, of course:

• Open the laptop.
• Process any new ticket orders for the next show (because we do all this again very soon).
• Scroll through the joyous flood of audience selfies, tags, and post-show hype posts. (I do love this bit!)
• Accidentally lose another 45 minutes in a social media rabbit hole
• Realise that you still need to take a shower and scrape your show-face make-up off. (Finding your false lashes storage case is a bonus, but you can always stick them to the mirror for the time being.)

✨  THE FINAL RITUAL: LASHES OFF & BRAIN OFF (MAYBE ... PROBABLY NOT)

Eventually, it’s shower time. The hot water hits and the lashes come off like a theatrical snake shedding glitter.

You stand there, zoned out, wondering:

• Did I actually go on stage tonight?
• Did I remember to thank everyone involved on show day?
• Did someone really eat an apple on the front row during the show?
• Do I have to do this all again next weekend?

Yes.

Yes.

All the yes.

✨ (FINALLY!) DROP INTO BED. SLEEP FOR A FEW HOURS. THEN REPEAT.

And that, dear readers, is the untold truth of what generally happens after the show.

It's bloody hard work.

It's utterly exhausting.

And we wouldn’t change it for the world.

✨ Want to be part of the chaos, beauty, and mischief?
Come to the next Velvet Burlesque show or try one of our dance classes - maybe you'll find out more of what goes on in our gloriously glittered world!
 
 

Boss Lady - Lara Gothique

Founder, Curator, Choreographer, Swamp-Witch, and Slightly Feral Producer of The Velvet Burlesque™

© Lara Gothique - Velvet Burlesque™
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